Welcome. My advice to you is to keep me writing freelance racing stories and car reviews. That way the site won’t suck. IMHO

I talked to Rory on the phone for an hour two weeks ago. I told him about all of you. He knows your SSN, mother’s maiden name, town you were born in, your SO’s favorite ice cream. Do not fuck with him.

Folks,

Jalopnik was better before Gawker bought it.

I’m genuinely curious how you don’t perceive a strong political bias here?

“without taking a strong political stance like the rest of the sister sites”

Rory will be at Jalopnik Trivia Night THIS FRIDAY at 8:30. So be there. 

Sex work is real work. No different than any other side gig.

Girl...

No, they’re just literally following the directions on the bottle... “mix thoroughly... before pouring into douche bag”

Woah, woah, woah, lets leave David Tracy out of this, he’s a damn fine technical writer and rust connoisseur. Bradley is a glorified internet troll with a soap box, dont let his shit posts spoil the image of fine contributers.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  You leave David Tracy alone.  He’s a goddam national treasure.

I try to keep a few on deck so when people start a conversation in the elevator, I let out a long, cheeky fart.

I’m going to miss you, Mike.

I still can’t believe Jalopnik lasted 15 minutes, let alone 15 years. But I can always count on good people finding their way to becoming keeper of the takes. Godspeed, Ballaban. May a haircut that suits your face someday find you, as it has still eluded me. Or mine. Whatever.

Proof he leaves the shire.

Various reasons have been stated, but a large part is summed up quite well here: https://www.jimspanfellerisaherb.com/

I cooked some salmon in the office microwave. I apologized a hundred times, to no avail.

It’s the unsavory blend of herbs.