Because if it’s around, I’ll eat it. I share a KIND bar sometimes with my assistant, and that’s great because then you have half of the calories.

It seems like the kind of love athletes have for really tough (read: douche-tastic) coaches...like, “They push me to my limits and make me perform better than I otherwise would (by leveraging my performance through intense fear) and they scream at me only because they want me to be better.”

The man loves a dad joke.

Sorry, Ariana Grande does not look dangerous at all.

I’ve seen too many weird tabloid cover photos of Blake Shelton, and now his face always appears to be a thick latex mask glued down around the eye holes.

“... but I doubt it as much as I doubt the fact that Khloe got her ass through nothing but squats... .” This line pretty much sums up my philosophy on life...it is my truth. Thank you!

So true ... BUT, I *need* (yes, need) her and Blake off my (yes, my) tabloid covers, like, yesterday. For some reason, both of them individually, collectively as a couple, and collectively as a part of a divorce foursome, bore the fuck out of me. Plus, the headlines are so painfully fake. I do not believe that…

For me, as a young white dude, it was an incredibly depressing and enlightening moment when I learned that every single woman in my life had been sexually assaulted, harassed, or raped. Every single woman. My feminism didn’t start with that (your feminism shouldn’t be predicated on “think about your hypothetical…

#neverforget

Way to go, Jaime King! May your voice be helpful to others.

That Lisa Rinna dirt was scintillating.

I love the dichotomy of his party boy persona vs. his save-the-earth-we-only-have-one image. I imagine he howled with the boys then was all like “but for real guys, wolves are really endangered.”

yesterday the pussy posse, today the wolf pack, tomorrow wild hogs 2.

For your bae-sideration

Thanks— I’m 4 years out and doing well. It changes perspective, that’s for sure; wouldn’t wish it on anyone. (Well, maybe one president-wanna-be blowhard.) Overall, a crappy situation, but I was lucky in that everything fell within the “okay I can do this” range of crappy. The people around me had it worse than I did;…

And the fact that she started the post with “OH.EM.GEE.”

Ok obviously sexting the boss was entirely inappropriate, but calling your husband a LEGEND because he recorded the firing of her? And then listening to it with all of your girlfriends? That’s kind of just immature and cruel and unnecessary, grow up, you fired her and ended the situation, the humiliation isn't really…

I kinda do too, but at the same time, we all thought wouldn’t get this far in the primaries and now we’re all, “What went wrong?”

As much fun as it is to watch the GOP freak out, this maniac should not be this close to any public office. It doesn't matter if everyone is sure that the Democrats can beat him, he should not be in a position to potentially become POTUS. I'm scared and I'm not even American.

Best possible diss of a tattoo ever: “It should be cooler.”