YES! At my workplace it’s been a baby frenzy lately. Two fellas in the office, both in their early 30s, had their first children.

My first thought was ‘Ohmygodlookatthatcutebunny! It’s going to die.’

I never noticed. Honestly? I don’t feel like I have heard anything about Jennifer Lopez being a nightmare since the Bennifer days. I was actually pretty sad when she and Skelator broke up. I thought those crazy kids were gonna make it.

J.Lo’s second wedding dress is still my all time favorite super girly wedding dress.

But they don’t just body shame, they do it sideways. “The former Baywatch beauty did not appear in her skimpy red swimsuit, but was stunning in a large, patterned body wrap.” Then they let people go wild in the comments.

This is not the first time I have heard the “who is going to scrub your toilets” line from a white person of privilege. It’s not particularly original statement of ignorance.

I HADN’T THOUGHT OF THAT! Most places don’t even let you have glass on the patio!

Right? Is that how one dresses to look at hippos?

The worst is when I review something *I* wrote and see a misplaced apostrophe. It’s not like I don’t know what I am doing.

YOU ARE A HERO!

There is only one problem with Bobby’s channeled tweet. Don’t use possessives where you should; use them where you shouldn’t. This is the fit-giving way of the world.

My favorite sunscreen is Neutrogena Baby sunscreen. It makes my pasty self even pastier. Totally white. But goddamn. It is full of zinc oxide and it works. Used it biking across Iowa with little reapplication and I was totally fine.

I think Derrek just signed his ticket to a better market!

I grew up in the backwaters of Western Wisconsin where both words were used frequently, by me too. The redneck thing can be a point of pride; it comes up in a lot of country songs. I think if someone is calling themselves that, well whatever, it’s a personal choice.

Just because she is more voluptuous than the average famous person, does not mean she isn’t thin. She. Has. A. Thigh gap.

Wow. Wow. Are there any other famous people who you don’t like? I want to read all of your celebrity take-downs, because this is brilliant.

My favorite part of all of this is saying, “but Beyonce was nominated and she isn’t skinny”. Oh, she isn’t? I mean yes, she does have a body that curves. Is that what skinny means now? No curves, no muscle? I think of skinny as not having fat on your body.

Ugh. It’s the worst when square white boys do acoustic versions of rap songs (so we can all be amused?). Maybe Ed and Ben Folds can get together and tell each other how clever they are.

While I understand the compulsion to stick things on drunk people, I do not understand who would stick anything in someone’s butt crack. How passed out did this person have to be that sticking something between his cheeks did not bring him back to life.

I would not pay to see this, but I would watch the shit outta it on Lifetime.