So. Fucked. Up.

At least they aren’t showing the episode and it’s a semi-happy ending. Jess is a starfucking asshole.

For real. I’d go in with no less than one of these:

*Googles Dearborn*

Shit, I’d need more firepower than that to feel safe at a strip club on the outskirts of Detroit.

Never thought that I would regret turning down an invitation to watch a fixed wheel bicycle race held on a Saturday night but here we are.

.

No one is saying they deserved to die. Everyone is saying that the actions of the girls directly caused their deaths. Not because of the inactions of the police.

Perhaps I haven’t searched hard enough, but I don’t think anyone is saying they deserved to die because they ran from cops. They died because they made a mistake. You can’t blame the officers for not risking their lives to save theirs. Police have an obligation to do whatever they can within reasonable limits, but…

I’d criticize school staff for not seeing through the ruse, but in all fairness, nobody’s ever met a 30-year-old from South Sudan.

Typical Deadspin, always sticking up for Cardinals fans, or as they call them around here “the greatest fans in baseball”. I’m sick of the pro-Cardinal bias of this place!

You can tell the bandwagoners by their Red Sox gear.

He's now well-qualified to be ordained in the Archdiocese of Boston.

With diminishing returns on all the Danadrol, HGH, and testosterone he’s been taking to extend his career, a desperate Bartolo Colon turned to the one PED he hasn’t yet tried, Uranium-238.

“My belt holds up my pants. My pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the fuck’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?”
- Mitch Hedberg

giving up 4 goals probably minimizes those college prospects as much as anything.

I could’ve told you this months ago. Me and my 15 year old friends only use Snap Chat to talk.

A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

+1 lead pipe

Man, must be something in the water.