My mother who lived her entire adult life scared shitless of all things monkey would have still said "awww" at this, I know it.

They are great to come home to. I work a low-paying tough public service job and am able to forget all about it at 5:15 when I walk in and see these goofballs.

There's something hilarious-yet-maddening about using the WRONG slur. It's like, do you just use every one you know until you get it right?

This week and weekend have been full of crappy news stories. I want everyone to know that somewhere a man has fallen madly in love with a dog. Not in a creepy way! My fiancé moved in two months ago and he is now my - our - dog's #1 fan.

So instead of going out to the bars and nightclubs tonight, I decided to stay in my room and study. Upon opening my email, I found out that I got a six-credit internship! I the decided to check on my miles balance, and I found out I have 30,000 miles on it! I can go somewhere this winter! Where shall I go?

Aim for the stars. If you don't make it there, you might make it half way, and that's still a pretty good place to be.

Seriously, words are meaningless when there is a pygmy marmoset in the vicinity. I went to a wildlife sanctuary that had a couple, one climbed on top of my head and fell asleep during the lecture about how owning them as pets is a bad idea. Something about how they need to be in diapers because they pee all over the…

Christ, dude...is Trayvon not dead enough for you?

Yeah I kept thinking as I was reading this, at what point does this kid suddenly become mature enough to be like "This is insane and wrong" and walk away/report it. I think there's a distinction between a 17 year old who voluntarily goes out and engages in this sort of behaviour of his own volition or someone who has…

Yes this 17 year old who rapes children will be aloud due process while Travon Martin stole a cigar and got instant death penalty. Your amazing.

They are both children. The difference is that Trayvon Martin did not commit a crime.

Sorry, I really didn't mean it that way.

I know! I was like ugh not a bro but him and that Workaholics dude brought some great, inoffensive and not misognyistic bro humor, which I didn't think was possible.

Oh man. I remember this happening with my son's free balloon at Trader Joe's. He cried and said, mommy, I want it back. Then we had the conversation about how sometimes you can't have things back. I could have just gotten him another balloon, but you gotta learn at some point, right? So I waved at the sky. "Bye…

To Sohair al-Bata'a, I am sorry. Sorry that you grew up in a world that doesn't value women and demonizes our sexuality.

My boyfriend once made up a bizarre story about needing to borrow three hundred dollars for insurance purposes. I got sick at work the day I loaned it to him, came home early, and discovered he had used my three hundred dollars to finance a meth fueled orgy.

jackrabbit sex. You know that sex where it's like they're masturbating but with your vagina.

you should shed excess water weight by peeing on everything they own

Yeah, I taught English in Korea in Ulsan for a year, and while I have many good stories, they're outweighed by the horrific workplace politics and harassment. I was told that my breasts were sexually harassing my colleagues (and they were covered) among other things. Being young and foreign and female in that work…

'responsibility as a woman to raise a child'