When I was in first grade, I tried to convince a bunch of my young peers that a girl was locked in the janitor’s shed and was being electrocuted to death. Kids are horrifying, is what I’m saying.

“We need to elevate the dialogue beyond the simplicity of binary.” Just. The best. Poo on the Daily Mail.

I am actually quite taken with the idea that I could disappear from view by folding my little rug into a googly-eyed fortune cookie!