Over 550 Canadian wins?

If he ever leaves Carleton he can probably get a Fresh start at Prince Edward Island.  

Take care of yourself and each other.

Jacque Jones of twins fame received one hall of fame vote when he was eligible. My favorite part of the results is not who gets in, but who gets the homer vote

Yeah, a stereotypical Vikings team is very good until the very end of the season, and even then, plenty of their most iconic, crushing losses have come indoors.

The Vikings haven’t been bad historically, though? They’ve got at winning record since the Dome opened. And a better record than the Bears over that time. This theory would also ignore the existence of the Jets and Bills.

This team is trending very close to “halcyon days” and “Jim Caldwell” being used in the same sentence

Ooh, ooh, I know how this goes!

Baseball did have something like this back in the 1990's. The Cubs signed a fan, Henry Rowengartner, and it was a lot of fun to follow! He had his struggles at first, especially playing alongside his hero Chet “Rocket” Steadman, but he settled in and became a key player in their postseason run. He even struck out…

Can we just take every major college coach and fire them into the sun?  I know there might be a good one or two in there, but I think we can all agree that would be acceptable collateral damage.

Yep. It’s such a huge time saver to know that you can immediately ignore the rest of the statement.

Just when I thought this nation couldn’t sink any lower, we get punter on punter crime.

Burkman—whose fly happened to be down during this extremely important and serious event—insisted on calling the 20-year-old Wohl “a child prodigy who has eclipsed Mozart.”

Big Deal.  Rickey Henderson went as Rickey Henderson.

Just wipe down the goddamn toilet seat. Provided you don’t have an open sore and you do have a functioning immune system, your body can handle those weak-ass microbes.

Dude, you’re missing out on the Costco for one reason: The Costco fuckin’ hot dog. A buck-fifty AND you get a fountain soda. And the hot dog is pretty goddamn good, too. It’s easily my favorite part of going there the once a month we hit that fucking place up.

“When you’ve made both sides angry, you may have done something right.”

rude, Ellen. She already has a love match in her life

Cousins, who might be the corniest starting quarterback in the NFL,

Then what does the Hogwarts Express run on, Rowling? Burning house elves? Oh my god, is it burning house elves?