Unthusiasts

“Walkers” It is both true and a nice homage to Alissa.

...other stars usually have their giant ass planets (i.e. their Jupiter) orbiting them at a much closer distance. This is really common in other systems!

“Cinematic”? I didn’t see any detective who had been told he was off the case, suspended and to turn in his badge, chase the van on a motorcycle he took from some douchebag in all yellow leather, then jump on the back of the van (the borrowed motorcycle being crushed under a passing semi), hanging on to the door…

Real world fuel economy.

1. Hows the flex?

Well, we all know Alex Rodriguez likes a clean bat. That reminds me of a guy the Dodgers had up for a cup of coffee near the end of 1968, the Year of the Pitcher, of course. Now, this young man, he liked to keep his wood glistening. He would polish it every day. Just in case he’d make it in the lineup. But the skip -…

The main problem with Toyota is that most enthusiasts felt abandoned by Toyota in the mid 2000's. Remember, Toyota was once the maker of the legendary Supra, which was one of the halo Japanese cars of the day. They also had a Celica, which had an rally capable AWD variant. And of course, the MR2, one of the only…

Toyota thinks Creed is “pretty heavy”

Fact: If you drive over it slowly in reverse it tells you to worship the devil

Am I an old person? What is a “woke boyfriend”?

That’s a common misconception. So long as you drill at least 800 feet into the asteroid, it works fine.

Her name was Chevy, she’s a Camaro
With nitrous spray everywhere and tires out to there
She would do burn outs, with no wheel hop-hop
And while she tried to be a star
Ford would always raise the bar
Across the drag strip, they worked 1/8 to 1/4 mile
They were young and raced each other
Who more could make you smile?

[Chorus:]
…

Why does it have to be “doping”? Why can’t we just call it what it is? “Cheating”. The word “doping” implies drugs (a/k/a dope) ingested into the body. This is nothing of the sort, it’s mechanical assistance.

For GM to, after a certain incident at a certain launch event at a certain track involving a certain Jalopnik writer, let anyone at Jalopnik have a Camaro, even more so a hot one, even more so for the explicit purpose of doing something like this, demonstrates tremendous reserves of one or more of the following:…

Well, here’s your problem.

“I see you’re attempting to parallel park, I can assist with that!”