This guy (I think it's him, anyway) is quoted:

Everyone who says, "Ooooh, my boyfriend/husband/etc....!!!" MUST POST PHOTOS HERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE AND I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW.

Careful Chick. At some point he's gotta exhale.

Never have I been more pleasantly flummoxed.

I don't have an engagement ring. It's really OK. You can still get married; I checked.

I'm thinking there may have been some confusion between "tier" and "tire"?

NAILED IT.

And here I was using my eyelids like an asshole.

They're such trolls. I feel bad for all the teenage boys who end up getting confused foot-jobs from their well-meaning girlfriends. Good luck, fellas.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT!

It's recommended that you use your tears for lubricant.

Darling, there are rednecks everywhere. Note Putin in Russia and his shirtless fishing, shooting, bear wrestling, etc. Pure redneck.

It's like a before and after of a really, really overused one too. :(

They really missed an opportunity to write "I'll never tire of you" on it.

Word of caution about black fondant.

Don't mock her cake — she's marrying the Stig. They say he's a secret collector of sweater fuzz, and that he was born with a silver gear shift in his mouth.

This is so sad because the original butt plug concept was so gorgeous.

Sooo about that original cake....

It's the ring bear-er. Get it? They made a funny.