Uh, she just gave birth and you don't really get to outsource that shit. And then she had to face a super-ridiculous level of media while probably feeling like exhausted, emotional shit. Rather her than me.

She looked vaguely emotional (happy-wet eyes?), but it could've been exhaustion. At any rate, isn't marvelous what a good blowout can do?

"I had a baby, and my own people hardly cared. THIS SUCKS. YOU ALL SUCK."

I can't speak for the general American public, but for myself, I'm just fucking happy to see something positive and life-affirming in the news. I don't even like babies, but I will click on 100 articles about the royal baby because I just need some nice news to read about. I have also clicked on about 500 articles…

I bet she figures that if she sucks it up and does it now, people will be more likely to leave them alone over the coming weeks. It's like, you got your shot, you've seen the baby, now go home and leave me alone. If she didn't do that you know people would be camping outside of her house waiting to catch a glimpse.

I will say this for Kate Middleton - if I had to get dressed in actual human clothes and take my newborn out to a screaming throng of people and reporters merely 24 hours after giving birth, I'd just be crying into a pint of ice cream. Shit, I don't think I even managed pants for the first two weeks. She is a brave…

May I defend my fellow Brits by saying that with both the weather and the Conservative government conspiring to make things so miserable this past year, we have to forgive them if they go a little batshit over this - any excuse to celebrate, you know.

You are a fucking moron who has internalised some really shitty public moralising if you think that illegal drug use is particularly correlated with paying rent and the like. Do you really think that the average weed consumer or casual party drug user is a hopeless drug addict? Do you really think that your perception…

It sucks that you live in a state where something that invasive is somehow still legal. I feel for you. However, it's worth noting that on no account could you be thrown in prison for failing one of those tests. And that if you're white, you odds of doing time on a drug charge are pretty fucking low as long as you…

Yeah, I'm not into the whole "but she's a role model" thing, but she does realize that drugs really fuck up people's lives, right? And also that, however cool or fun they are, they are also illegal?

For some reason I read that as Ryan Reynolds not playing Freddie Mercury and I thought THANK THOR FOR THIS.

You: disgusted with her because she's being irresponsible and a bad role model.

Haha, what's up Seattle?! I know some of these mens!

Me too. He was perfect for the role.

I AM SO UPSET ABOUT THIS DEVELOPMENT WITH THE FREDDIE MERCURY BIOPIC.

you should have just put a period after song.

There is no way Miley wrote that song intending it to be "molly." Someone she thinks is cooler than her probably mentioned it sounded like molly and she ran with it.

Take it down a notch, Crystal Moon Lovechild. Having awful periods isn't because Big Tampon is forcing itself up my vagina, it's because I have debilitating cramps that have sometimes brought me to tears in the past. How great for you that you've somehow pulled the cotton plug on all of their horrible lies and somehow…

My friends and I usually call it "Commies," which is our shortening of the Danish saying "The Communists are in the fun house." Ever since I heard that, I've been unable to call it anything else.