I’d rather watch a reality show about the production crew working on an insane reality show.

dammit now I need this to happen

FUCK YOU SCOTT WALKER.

This is also my style. We are awesome.

No, you are correct. Those are his best movies. You are Keanu-ing correctly.

so you’ve met my ex-boyfriend?

This review was almost as good as the movie

John Waters: Clever as all fuck. Sweet & very friendly.

These are the people who swore they’d never get fooled again after that incident with the buffalo wings.

oh god, this is gonna make me so sick, but YES PLEASE ALL THE BREADSTICKS

this was fantastic!

and now you’re my new favorite person...

it was getting crowded in the joke. now there’s room for more people to be in on the joke!

Happy birthday!

Vaseline itself really isn’t a moisturizer, so it’s won’t absorb into your skin. But it will act as a barrier to keep your skin’s natural moisture in. or use it on top of moisturizer to lock it in. But yeah, it will just sit greasy on top of your skin.

I’m still in love with you for this btw

I hope you can hatch a good escape plan or you’ll be flying on a wing and a prayer

Waddle you do if they start getting violent?

the commenters must be in a fowl mood