How furiously were you masturbating while you made this spreadsheet? 

Few points:

If you like doing that, then I’m going to blow your mind: real fishing is pretty much like that. Only instead of people who want to kill you spoiling your peace, you just get actual fish that you can make dinner with.

Ubisoft represents to me everything that’s wrong with video games. They don’t need to slow down they need to be completely remade. 

The over the top attitude is exactly why I couldn’t enjoy Watch Dogs 2. I have no intention of getting this game, or any Ubisoft game for that matter but this whole “we are awesome, this is awesome fuuuuucckkk yeaaah“ attitude really feels at place with the Ubisoft culture and I can't say I am the least bit surprised.

I felt like the dialogue was basically just old 90's/00's “radical” speak, but they just swapped out a couple of words for more modern slang. Which that mishmash kind of put it in a weird “does this even exist anywhere” feeling for me.