My sister and I were less than a year apart and generally well-behaved, but having harnesses when mom had us out alone meant that one, out-of-character dart away from her wouldn’t result in us getting hit by a car or something. No weird “leash” issues for either of us. With multiple toddlers and occupied arms it can…

Oh, people want the food being thrown out. I’m in Canada and when I worked at a grocery store I watched a few employees get fired for taking food that was supposed to be destroyed. Can’t feed a family properly on minimum wage. Dumpsters had to be locked to prevent people from taking it. To be fair, the store was…

Oh, honey. Have you ever talked with elderly women? Once they’ve stopped giving a fuck about their “reputations?” Rape and molestation Goddamn everywhere. Always hushed up because then, as now, it was usually relatives, friends, and authority figures who were the perpetrators. All before easily accessible pornography.…

I just use cheap red or orange eyeshadow/blush applied with a tiny brush. MAC had a brow powder for redheads when a friend brought me in to be a model for an interview, but I couldn’t stomach spending that much on it.

“Protestant” essential boils down to “non-Catholic”. It encompasses everything from the chillest of hippy Christians to Quiverfuls and Evangelicals. It would include Episcopalians/Anglicans, Baptists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, the United Church, etc. “Protestant” tells you little about someone’s beliefs.

Canadian and…

Amen! And the techs have never been anything but respectful, explaining that if I become uncomfortable, just to say “stop” and they’ll stop, because that’s my right. Luckily I have a cooperative vagina and find the exams tickle-y rather than upsetting or painful. Why in the hell would anyone require “sexual…

I think everyone I dated in high school was related to me somehow. You don’t live in the same town with a population of under 2000 that your family settled in right off the boat along with everyone else 200 years ago and expect to find a local that doesn’t share AT LEAST a great-great-great-grandparent. ;-)

If it helps, why not own a nickname that’s intended to be hurtful? No one should have to play along, but for some, it takes away it’s power. In high school, I rejected a boy, and because I had a large nose (hello, rhinoplasty!), he started a rumour that I was assigned male at birth. I decided that since there was…

One of my best guy friends and I used to have very “meh” sex when neither of us had gotten laid in a while. We were very comfortable with each other, but not particularly attracted to one another. I’d text sad, sad things like, “I wanna bone somebody and watch tv and be in bed by 9pm. Think you can help?” Then, one…

That’s fucked up. She has problems. I really can’t empathize as I’ve never been overweight, but I’m sorry you have to deal with her or anyone else who thinks what you consume is your business. I have IBS and my biggest triggers for a fart-bloat-shit-pocalypse are raw veggies, raw fruits, meats, dairy, and legumes. So…

I’m a professional dick wrangler, and a young, very slim co-worker quit at 3 months because she had such bad morning sickness. At 7 months I ran into her and she looked like she’d had a satisfying lunch, rather than being full of baby. Her baby was born right on time at 6lbs. She gained 9lbs during the pregnancy. She…

My ex used to say that the only time she wanted to be lighter was when it came to tattoos. She was jealous of my colourful ones while black ink was barely visible on her skin. Whereas if I’m outdoors for 10 minutes or more I require a giant hat and SPF 70. She called us The Contrast Babes.

I guess I must be having secret affairs with half my friends because this is totally something we do on the regular. Pretty sure I did this to my best friend at his wedding, actually. I wanted to rub my friendship all over him but not interrupt his conversation. Different people have different comfort levels re: their…

I have a favourite bar and sometimes I go alone and have a few drinks and read. Other times I go with pals. Whenever I’m alone, though, some guy will sidle up and ask what I’m reading. When I say “a response by African historians to the Euro-centric narrative of the division of Africa by the colonial powers,” they…

You up your punk cred AND ensure that your male friends never want to sleep with you. Winning, all around! When I’d share a bed with guy friends I didn’t want to bone, if I felt a boner touch my butt in the morning, I’d fart on it as obnoxiously as possible. I’ve heard so many variations of “You know Scarlet, when I…

Americans were buying Canadian native kids, too.

Up here in Canada, we had the 60’s Scoop, where as many native kids as possible were apprehended and adopted out to white families. The results were... not good. My dad is one of them and the trauma of that is something that will probably still be messing with my kids if…

If I eat pineapple, my lips burn, then go numb, then swell. I get mouth hives. As I digest it, my insides feel like I’ve swallowed bleach and my abdomen swells up like I’ve gained 20 lbs. It’s well over a day of hurting so badly I can’t leave my house. Yet a few times every year, someone decides to disregard my…

We laughed so hard at a casting call ad for one of the Twilight movies. They wanted “full-blooded” natives “ONLY.” There are mixed people who look “more native” than full-blooded people. In parts of Canada, we’ve had mixed people for over 500 years. Basically they wanted extras to be native-er than life. You’re not…

My foster sister has no filter, and once when we walked by, he was chiding a girl for wearing one of those wide-necked shirts because it showed off too much collar bone. She busted out with, “Thank God he said something! I was about to cum in my pants if I had to look at her clavicle for a second longer!” He totally…

He was just obsessed with monitoring teen girls’ clothes. We had serious problems at our school, but that was his focus. Like, “if I can control the shoulders and tummies, the drugs and inter-generational sexual abuse and teen pregnancy will go away.”