on the bright side, we should all be dead by then

UPDATE: The water park has decided to let it slide

Man, could you imagine how many games he’d miss in a 162 game season?

Why did a trash can magically appear next to that white guy?

Who does he think he is, Zack Hampel?

It’s like if Shawn Marion had a stroke

Only anyone who ever saw a UCLA game last season would have told you this.

Willis hasn’t played any ATP tour-level matches or grand slams

Hopefully he can finally get home to watch Wrestlemania.

I don’t want to enable a criminal but your can usually find someone who’s willing to take a breathalyzer for you, especially for money. If you read this, Michael Floyd, it’s in Craigslist. Search “Blow Jobs.”

citation needed

One of the best things about a Dyson is you can clearly see when it sucks.

Nice article you have there.

Did this story get posted before the rest was ready or something? I feel like it ends 25% of the way through.

Officer: Where you coming from?

His over-inflated ego.

I’m curious what he’s carrying around to necessitate cargo shorts.

I heard that he also dated Lennay Kekua before Manti Te’o did. 

What a bunch of dumbasses, they couldn’t even spell Brazil right.