kind of rude from the President imo

Well gooood for yooou

Festivus is December 23rd.  Airing of Grievances is the first event after the meatloaf.

My father fucked me out of my inheritance when both of his parents died. I haven't spoken to him in over a decade and he'll never meet his granddaughter. I hope the maybe $20k he got was worth it.

I think it’s great! I’m glad the refs didn’t take issue with a young All-Star getting his game on and get him fed to the rules when he hit the ground running. Yes, he’s looking kinda dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. But the years start coming and they don’t stop coming, so it…

No, I dismissed a troll.

How high are you, exactly?

Did you go to Bagel Bites Prep?

People on twitter criticizing this can eat my entire asshole.

That’s one hell of a smoky eye she has going.

You solved it. She needed the ashes to make the perfect smoky eye.

Catapult those mushrooms into outer space and I’ll try it.

“What’s a first round draft pick?”

A baby shit in the pool at my local Y. That bitch was closed for two days. They have to burn this spot to the ground.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Police were on the scene grilling bystanders about the incident and took away several suspects in a pattywagon.

Big props for correct orientation of the phone. Distance makes it hard to tell, how big do we think that gator is, anyway?

She blocked me on Instagram last time I I pointed out she probably shouldn’t be socializing with this dude she was talking to because he had a pic of himself shaking hands with a PoC.

If a commenter is murdered in the grays without a witness, does he not die?

Britt is spending a lot of time getting ethered on social media recently