Thank you, new favorite commenter.

Update: He heard the UPS truck and he must defend me against those vicious Amazon packages.

When I was a kid, I had a miniature schnauzer who slept in my bed. Similar effect, she’d sprawl in the middle of the bed while I huddle along an edge. Little dogs are always such bed hogs, aren’t they?!

My dog does whatever she wants. While I’m on the coach lying down watching some TV and she wants to sleep she does it in two steps. First she curls up on top of my chest and she stays there for some 10 minutes. Then she crawls to my legs and curls up between them. At night she sleeps under the covers close by me until…

My dog, at this very moment:

My dog has peed whilst under the covers. She gets so comfortable...she doesn’t want to go outside in the cold. So she’s like fuck it, I’ll just pee right here. I feel like that sometimes too.

But what about getting poisoned from all the dutch ovens he’s receiving from himself and me at night?

Kind of my response to the Trump administration.

You can throw your hands up and say at least 27% of Americans (the necessarily minority to win an election, apparently) are unreachably stupid.

two wrongs don’t make a right

my son is autistic. and this pisses me off. autism is nothing to be ashamed of. and when the first fucking lady goes to these lengths to show that her son isn’t autistic it just shows me my kid will likely never be accepted. he is the sweetest thing on earth. this is more scary than any part of facing his diagnosis.…