Wait what about Irfan Khan? I think there’s a typo at the beginning of this article. 

I just thought it was because chicken dinners are awesome?

Why is Jalopnik paying attention to this nitwit?

Having a large stockpile of young players who may be promising, but not good enough for Chelsea allows Chelsea to have transfer revenue to offset their transfer outlay in any year. It’s a key tool in how Chelsea manages the Financial Fair Play regulations. When Chelsea signs a Matt Miazga, it isn’t because they…

I know there’s a big difference in strength of remaining schedule, but this still seems absurd. If Man U. had beaten Arsenal, they would be in charge of their own destiny for finishing top 4, yet it was considered an impossibility?

They replaced them with ombudswomen. Quiet, complacent ombudswomen. 

I hate the Pats, and Spygate maaaaybe had some very slight legitimacy, but Deflategate was the biggest crock of shit.

Pats “got caught cheating” the same way Hillary “got caught” murdering diplomats in Benghazi. That’s why we call it Ballghazi.

Well, maybe, but also quite possibly not.

Patrick, who told you that Rudy Gobert’s 7 foot 8.5 inch wingspan is the longest in NBA history?

I hate that these don’t include digital copies.

I hate that these don’t include digital copies.

I feel the need to make the same comment on all of these stories. Because I think the greater context of this is being lost a little bit in the ridiculousness of these scandals. But I’m going to say it again anyway, because it’s really important. The Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals last year.

If it were possible to bankrupt people with a series of ridiculous lawsuits I think I would have heard about it by now.

Mutt-iny on the Bounty

And Iran

“We are family here at Alabama. I’m the father, you see, overseeing all my boys out there toiling in the football fields, picking footballs off the ground and out of the air. You gotta teach them tough love, and know when to whip them into shape. Now, Maurice Smith...**chuckles** we gave him the nickname Toby...but he…

Until they're as cold as your frigid heart, you nasty bitch!

So, wait. How long should I freeze the numbers?