4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

There is indeed a richness of assholes throughout our society.

And the middle class assholes! Not rich enough to be showy, not poor enough to complain. Just...ennui.

Nah. No way McGregor can be successful with genetically tiny hands.

I wish I was rich enough to be a showy asshole not just a regular poor asshole.

If it ever happens, I’ll ask them.

But why would smart people want to have drinks with you?

That would have been amazing and would have rivaled Sting taking off a Sting mask to reveal Sting

You caught a foul ball while a hot dog was in your mouth and was on TV because of it? You’re way more accomplished than I’ll ever be. Kudos to you.

Shoulda taken a beat, removed the USC shirt, and had another USC shirt underneath

Thanks for taking us on the journey.

Good for them. It’s usually the Trojans getting fooled by something hidden on the inside.

Apparently nobody told Levi you’re never supposed to double wrap a Trojan

Thank you, I’ll make sure to apply your tips to the EMPTY SPACE IN MY LIVING ROOM

How is ‘somebody else’s semen’ not even a consideration? Given the choice of another person’s blood, puke, poo and baby batter, which is the last one any sane person would pick?

God damn it, Drew. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING, ASSHOLE.

Anyway, if I’m putting any antlers on the table, they’re gonna be real. None of these poseur antlers for me. I’m taking down Bambi’s mom and then making her head the centerpiece of my turkey dinner.

I’m pretty sure that, here in Chicago at least, it started out as a summer marketing campaign by Stoli, who went around to every bar and gave out free cases of those copper mugs.

Can anyone explain the sudden explosion of Mule drinks? I swear I never heard of anyone really drinking them, just kind of admiring the copper mugs for most of my life. But now they’re everywhere. A specialty Moscow Mule bar has even opened up here. Are Mules just a fad destined to peter out due to their own…

No thanks. I’m buying this $85 rock from Nordstroms with which I will hit myself repeatedly to unconsciousness until 2020.