Actually, I think flashing the lights in the bathroom, while annoying, is not bullying. It's just a thing kids do to play, including while in a room alone. Did you not blink the lights a lot as a child?

My childhood friend’s husband said “Oooooh seeeeexy!” to their little daughter once, in the same tone people use for “What a prrrretty princess!” She was four years old and wearing a bikini. It was gross. It didn’t seem dirty, but just... why?

100% agree with you again.

“Those people need to work to be more receptive and understanding of the issues. That’s on them. It’s not on a mom to say it in the just right way or for an oppressed person to be perfectly polite. That’s part of the issue.”

That’s the thing: if those people are happy with the status quo, they don’t need to do shit -…

No doubt that I wouldn't want her back at play group. Finding other moms that you enjoy personally not just socially with kids is hard enough as it is. The only positive thing here is at least she put it all out there upfront in the beginning. I have two daughters and a son. I do go out of my way with my girls…

Creating social change takes more than just persistence - it takes a certain amount of skill in terms of human interaction. If you have no means of coercion and are relying on other people to voluntarily change their behavior, you have to be persuasive and have some degree of social IQ.

Passive aggressive? I think it’s a more non confrontational way that seeks to spark conversation. When people aren’t being a straight up dick sometimes not confronting them “you’re wrong” but instead trying to get them to examine their statements on their own can be more productive.

I agree. This woman would probably cause me to drink bleach after about 5 minutes. I think she has valid points as well but I feel she’s alienating more people to her feelings than gaining their understanding of it. They are definitely less impolite ways to share your feelings with others without shitting on them for…

If shes crying in her preschool aged kids hair, im going to take a wild guess and say this woman has issues that are not being addressed or handled.

And the text she provided from those emails doesn’t sound like something you might say in conversation at all... I’ve read academic journal articles that were less pretentious. I don’t think she realizes that people don’t respond well to being lectured at.

“Playgroup Mom did not respond.”

That’s not the choice, though. She didn’t change anything with those moms. She got herself labelled “crazy person,” making her points of view seem crazy, as well.

And passive aggressive emails put people on the defensive. So they write you off as obnoxious and ridiculous and double down. Simply making a non judgy statement like suggested above probably does a lot more to change people’s views than an email that makes them feel judged and pissed off. With a statement like “I…

...but did she actually change any minds? Or did she just convince a group of moms that she’s not a great person to invite to play groups? Because she’d probably get a LOT further with those women if she picked her battles like the rest of us, making the 24/7 fight less effective and therefore less admirable, in my…

My daughter will have a unique experience. She’s doesn’t look jewish the way I do, and won’t grow up in a Jewish area like I did. I imagine she will have people say things around her about jews not knowing her lineage, or going out of there way to celebrate her jewishness, both of which suck. Learning how to deal with…

I didn’t mind the way she handled the karate thing. And I thought it was awesome how receptive the karate teacher was to the criticism!

The feeling alone part sucks, as does the discomfort you and your daughters may experience. You don’t have to argue with the parents just make sure your daughters know your opinion about things. I endured plenty of eye-rolling while raising my kids (as did my Mom), but ultimately they will respect you and likely come…

I’m trying to find a middle ground with my daughter, and she’s not even 2yo yet! My approach so far is to confront the BS with people who are going to be in her life, like friends and close family, and let it slide with casual acquaintances and strangers, like the librarians.

I’m with the librarian about Point #2. You can’t expect a library to get rid of all the children’s books with subtle sexist messages. Even if the library just got rid of all the books with OVERT sexist messages, it wouldn’t carry any European fairy tales. (Except Hansel and Gretel. Gretel’s a badass.) I think the…

This is something I grapple with all the time. I want it be known I’m not okay with this shit but I don’t want my feelings to end up alienating my daughters because their friend’s parents don’t want to deal with me. My girls are almost four and two so I know it’s coming. The only thing I can think of to solve it is to…