“Wait, do you mean UMBC?” No, you sweet summer child. No, I do not.

Do you remember when sex was hot and a handy-J cost a penny-farthing?

The average number of partners for Millenials is 8? Like ever? My friends and I must be making up for whole platoons of celibate-until-marriage fundies.

yes. i’ve been fairly inactive since March, mainly because every time I hooked up with a Tinder random it was bad, and every time I hooked up with my ex (who is FINALLY OUT OF MY LIFE AND I HAVE BLOCKED FROM ALL SOCIAL MEDIA, PLEASE PAT ME ON THE BACK JEZZIES) I felt terrible about myself because he made me feel…

I think a lot of us ~millenials~ are realising that casual sex =/= quality sex

Via Tumblr.

These people ASTOUND me. Because wasn’t casting stones this walking dumpster fire’s JOB?!? He worked for a goddamn hate group, which, along with his family, campaigned actively against LGBTQ+ rights. And a fucking 15-year-old knows better than to diddle little kids.

THAT IS THE LIFE. Watching The OC, eating cheese, drinking, and cuddling with a cat. That really is the dream. And Kaitlin Cooper (the 2nd one) is the best.

The good news: He is a giant. So tall, so buff. And he was being very cute with his wife.

I think it was posted because it’s going get a gazillion comments of women talking shit about themselves about standards that are stupid anyways. I mean all these comments are so similar! My takeaway is that we all hate wearing heels, and that winged eyeliner is a needlessly specific eyeliner style, and anything…

ABC wants it to be like the Ironborn.

popular chain restaurant that rhymes with “Crapplebees.” (Editor’s Note: Oh for fuck’s sake)

SHE IS 21

You have to read the entire quote to really appreciate the batshittery.

You realize that most people (excluding yourself, obviously) can hold more than a single thought in their head? And that they can bitch and moan on the Internet AND go and vote when the time goes?

I am not interested in seeing Cthulhu's baby pictures.

My family and I moved to St. Louis when my dad got a different job and the first night we moved in, we ordered Imo's pizza which is the go to place for "St. Louis style pizza." Imagine eating really sweet tomato sauce on a cracker with plastic glue cheese melted on top and you have St. Louis pizza. Our first…

You sound like me, right down to the whole pizza and Netflix (in the past 5 days, I have watched 4 seasons of Sabrina The Teenage Witch). I'm like, sure, I'll date somebody, as long as I never have to make any effort to do anything their way ever. One band I don't like on somebody's OKCupid profile and I'm like, "Nah,…

I say really sarcastic things to commercials. Out loud. Like full out mocking them. And then I laugh, because I'm hilarious. It's really tragic.