"Semen flavours up the coffee, and makes you thinks you're having a good time."

For the guys, there is: the sexy gas pump (a metal box with a fuel hose and you can guess what part is the hose), the sexy auto journalist (a plaid button up shirt, jeans, and glasses), and the favorite of every year:

I realize tennis players have a short shelf life, but c'mon, she was the 1-seed only 15 years ago.

And loud and messy. And they can't even entertain themselves properly while you smoke a blunt and watch Game of Thrones.

Despite living a mile from work and school used to drive my car every day. I now bike every day rain or shine. I live in a small enough town where everything I need is within a 2 mile radius, so groceries, beer, post office, and book store are all within reach on my bike. They also have the benefit of providing some…

I had always heard that drugs aren't cool and that users are losers. But then I tried cocaine! Now I can work all day and party every night. Thanks, cocaine!

High heat and plastic are greater than toxins? Sort of an odd comparison.

I predict getting "DOUBLE pregnant" via Eric Estrada is the most divisive thing ever written on this site. There is no middle ground as to whether that would be desirable.

On the flip side, though, your short term memory is shot.

I am writing some erotica and a neighbor loaned me Erotica from Penthouse III for research. I quote:

I am currently rocking a modified pixie cut and I feel like the sexiest lady-face ever. Straight dudes like it, gay men love it and a suuuuper foxy bartender comped my $50 mimosa tab last Sunday at brunch! Its gotta be the hair.

When I was a senior in college I got the shortest pixie cut and I felt like I was the hottest hot hottie to ever grace the earth. And all the boys loved it. Even a gay man kissed me. But was it the haircut or my new-found confidence?

Seconding take classes that have nothing to do with what you study! Music of Central Asia was one of the best classes I ever took, and I'm still super interested in it- and I'm a biologist.

Best advice I got going to college:

I learned a bunch of shit I never would have sought out on my own. This sounds like the cliche of cliches, but I learned how to think critically. Not just read some text, memorize and regurgitate it, but really how to get down to the bones of something.

When I'm asked if I've found Jesus, I reply, "What? Have you lost him AGAIN?"

I think the problem isn't poor taste. Joking about being a rapist is something rapists frequently do. Rapists who don't believe they are a "bad rapist" because they raped a girl who they were dating, or friends with, or who was drunk, or who was a stripper or porn star or prostitute (basically anybody "asking for it"…

Unless the following pages show him shoving that spoon up his butt, I'm afraid it doesn't count as porn.

Starring because responsible kink rocks.