Holy shit, dude. The Obama motorcade story should have been picked up. That’s classic Onion.

That’s enough to get my vote right there!!

Some of these are fucking great. My top 3:

Maybe if you play it backwards, it tries to convert you to driving a Honda. 

Yeah, the only Pacifica with a removable second row is the hybrid.

I will say that these days, kids have to be in special car seats/boosters until they’re about 35 so the ability to use stow-n-go is somewhat limited.

Brazil: What are we going to do with all this sugar cane?! It’s out of control, nobody can eat this much sugar! Wait, I have an idea!

Let us know how that pans out when you finally pluck up the courage to talk to one.

No but TSA does

I always assumed it’s because I have a great ass.

You’ve never trained a neural network before have you? The whole “how hard can it be” ignores that a Tesla operates at a level just barely above a drunk driver despite having more sensors and data available than the human.

A little ruff but otherwise good.

Same. With kids, a two-seater just isn’t practical. It’s too bad, because the F Type is gorgeous and sounds amazing. At least we still have the 911 (and the Mustang, which I’m currently lusting after).

There’s at least one Contour on the roads still, and it’s being driven by whichever Door Dash driver delivered my Popeye’s chicken last month.

You mention this as being an icon of Ford (Detroit) and Jeep (Toledo).

Anything that runs is probably faster than a Giulia.

Interestingly enough, I just took my first old person defensive driving course and the instructor was very adamant that we just stop using the word “accident” entirely and call it what it is, a “crash”.

I’m an airline pilot that flew out of Chicago during this storm. What happened here was you have a contaminated runway, snow and ice with braking action advisories in effect, plus a strong gusty crosswind. After touchdown, the mostly likely cause was as the plane slowed and the rudder loses effectiveness you rely more…

According to my 4 year old, if it doesn't have a tire on the back, I can't buy it.

If you’re getting that kind of damage on a regular old sedan, you should probably just hand in your driver’s license. I daily-drive a lowered BRZ with a front lip, low profile tires, and aftermarket suspension on Chicago roadways year-round, and don’t have the kinds of problems you’re talking about. Pretty sure if the…

I love that Toyota is big enough that they can partner with other brands to keep fun cars in production.  It’s increasingly hard to make a business case for these ventures, but I’m glad they’re finding a way.