Funny, I made a similar mistake when I took a date to Watchmen. Dr. Manhattan wasn't the only one with blue balls that night.

Flubbed the landing there. Should have concluded with “the only person who got nailed that night was on-screen.”

Never take a knife to a gunfight.

Your girlfriend is probably already interviewing prospective trainers as we speak anyways.

“not a level playing field - and sports assumes that there is one.”

No fault of hers, of course, but also not a level playing field - and sports assumes that there is one.

Think I remember hearing that. And I remember Denver receivers back in the day talking about “earning [their] cross,” which was the tip of the football that would leave an indentation in their skin catching balls from Elway.

I am confident Christian Hackenberg would also be bad at DB.

Tragically Hip or GTFO

Frankly, the real victim here is Alison Chu’s vagina

My wife and I are having our first in a couple months. Anytime someone says anything close to “do you think you’re ready”, I tell them that we have a dog, so we have a pretty good idea of what we’re doing. Literally as I was typing this, my uncle just asked me if I was prepared to change diapers. Told him that we’re…

The latter point is fair, but this is what that Princeton vs Rutgers game looked like:

That’s how you know this isn’t a real football league. A real league would have just demanded a half billion dollars from some city and threatened to move several teams to Los Angeles.

They are complete and utter dipshits for renting out massive stadiums. That’s what’s going to sink them. Considering all teams are in the sun belt it would have made infinitely more sense to find a large high school stadium or a small college’s.

Sure, I’ll try.

“Baseball and the American Legal Mind”. Fucker gave me a B-Plus instead of an A-Minus because in the innocence of my youth, I argued that the DH was the equivalent of a “reasonable accommodation” under the Americans with Disabilities Act.