I think she’s mad because she’s wearing a long sleeved bathing suit that probably cost $5,000 and looks terrible.

no emphasis on his bouts with alcoholism and depression? gotta wonder if his abuse at the hands of his now wife had anything to do with that...

dry lip person; Savannah Bee (Savannahbee.com) has great lip balms and lip glosses that have nice colors, or no color, and haven't dried out my lips terribly and this is a girl who does not drink enough water for sure. I love the Earl Grey tea beeswax and propolis lip balm and the beeswax lip tints. in general,…

this is the greatest thing I've EVER heard. I wonder if MJ prank called anyone else? also, please make a funny or die skit about this. immediately.

those are the people who regift all the shitty stuff they got at their weddings that they never use...

yoga pants... that's the way to keep a man. you don't actually have to do yoga or anything.

I truly hope this bitch has to work in service someday soon... as a former server and bartender I will say what everyone knows, it's very hard work. and it's a certain kind of person who can do it and do it well without hating all of humanity at the end of the day. Bartlett's little job at Kate Spade or wherever the…

the fact is that no one knows what causes autism... no one. and I'll bet the only reason why nobody in paleolithic times had autistic babies is because anyone who couldn't pull their weight and kill mammoths or some shit died. these freakin people kill me. I work at a preschool and there are parents telling us that…

Yeah, cuz it could have nothing to do with the extremely delicate situation in the middle east that Obama isn't just sending our troops in to kick ass and take names and turn the whole damn region into a sheet of glass, it gotta be because his mom was Muslim. for the love of God, (or Allah even) just shut the fuck up.

Yeah, but what did the ring look like? I bet it was some big ol' tacky Jared Diamond monstrosity that he told her he designed himself.

'"Pumpopolotan," which sounds like the name of a fairytale antagonist who lives in a potato field and has struggled with gout.'

Can I rant about how much I LOATHE apple? my husband gets a boner for everything they do, but I am anti-apple in just about every way. and I am super pissed that HBO now is only going to be available for Apple TV, iPhone and iPad because likely they said they'd only partner with HBO if they wouldn't make their…

I always vaguely hated daylight savings time, especially when I was bartending and it was time to "fall back" because I'd have an extra hour of work at 2 in the morning when I was watching the clock for 4 am, but never more than now that I have a kid, who is a bad sleeper anyway and any change in his schedule means a…

ACURE brightening facial scrub with sea kelp and lemon peel to exfoliate and lots of other nice all natural stuff all plant based to make skin wonderful! I recently discovered this at my local Fairway, but it's available on Amazon.com.

I too got an awesome sample of Tarte mascara at Sephora.... can we all agree that Tarte makes the best mascaras? everything else is just so disappointing...

I have a kid, I still smoke... not when I'm with him, not in our house, but I smoke in the car, in the warmer weather I take my coffee outside and have a smoke. fuck it, seriously... as someone who used to have waaaaay worse habits, this is the thing I'm keeping!

I was with you on the Mederma until last week when I discovered Mayan Magic (lavigneorganics.com)and it's ingredient of Tepezcohuite extract, and marula oil (acure) which have both decreased the size and redness of my acne scars because I'm like a damn 5 year old and cannot stop picking at my face. literally, a…

is that erect? because jeez, I must've been a lucky girl through much of my sex life...

yay David Mitchell meme!

my first thought is, yeah, the picture quality is terrible, but those girls do NOT look 15! and excuse me, but they lived in ENGLAND - you mean to tell me they didn't have microwaves and hoovers there? let alone a twitter account? it must've been the milkshake machine that sold it for them. oh, wait, that's a blender.…