This was the best thing I've read all day. Thanks for this. 375 hp? Dear god. How did they think this was ok.

Sloth with Skrillex hair dropping bass in the morning= This day is already great.

Tastes and preferences, my friend.

Well, I love that sloth now.

I listen to it at work. Repetitive, high energy music works great to keep me focused when my brain is tired and bored.

So you can drop the bass, but can't tuna fish?

No it wasn't. It was an approaching T-Rex.... go watch the movie.

Came for this. Left satisfied.

We spared no expense.

Touchless car washes exist now.

It's all fun and games until the result of their love-making ends up in my lungs, on my clothes, and all over my car.

Swigitty Swoogitty, I'm coming for that booty!

400 horse 2 liter turbo? I bet that thing will last dozens of miles.

I would delve a little into their past, not necessarily slavishly what had been done before but be inspired by great Lincolns of the past, I don't think they do enough of that. A '61 Continental, my God, it's like instructions.

Everyone in the office just heard me bust out laughing and knows that I am not working right now.