His “billionaire” status gets an asterisk until he coughs up the returns, as far as I’m concerned.

I voted Mad Pooper as well, but secretly hope she winds up at #2.

This past 4th of July I was at our local Independence Day parade when some stupid group shouting through megaphones about “thank a police officer” (yes, this is a relatively affluent extremely white suburb), with who leading them? None other than Joe Fucking Walsh. I openly laughed at him, and heard someone a few lawn…

Can someone who knows Morse Code see if he’s trying to send a secret “help me” message with all the umlauts and tildes?

Maybe she didn’t want to be their token?

Maybe, but they’ll have to weigh that against spectacularly pissing off the crazies who voted for Moore (twice).

Honestly can’t tell if you’re referring to Lentz or to Simmons.

I mean, I get the question, but yes, the GOP would absolutely fucking seat him and there’s less than a zero percent chance they’d follow through on anything they’ve threatened. If they’ve proven nothing else in the last few decades, it’s that having the (R) in the seat is the first, last, and only priority.

Fret not; it’s both.

Ryan Seacrest: “I am here as well!”

You complete me.

It was an episode of Heroes (right down to the shitty shitty writing and acting) plopped down into the middle of a season of Stranger Things.

“He will absolutely lose “a single voter”, he has already lost lots of voters.”

Easy for them to say that now. Until his vote count in 2020 is less than it was in 2016, I don’t believe a single fucking one of them. The vast majority of those who say “gosh, how could we have known, I’m totally off the Trump train now”…

Give it a little bit more time, and I’ll bet real money that the movie version of Ready Player One is far superior to the book. (Not a high bar, mind you.)

Wait, I thought it was spelled “Choad”. The walls of my reality crumble.

And more to the point, there’s a less-than-zero percent chance that POTUS was making a deeper literary allusion here - he thought that “Franken” sounds like “Frankenstein” and mashed his stubby fingertips down onto the screen of his phone.

Let’s not forget to include pedophilia as well!

“If they kill the whole league model in a rapacious effort to stuff their wallets full every single time, is that a worthy accomplishment?”

Looking at the current potentially-precarious state of the league, there’s definitely a legitimate question as to whether they’ve killed the golden goose here. Trying to overhype…

Took me a second to remember, because Gazelle immediately brought me to:

“People keep asking if American action movies are back, and I hadn’t really had an answer. But now, yeah, I’m thinking they’re back.”