Not mine, but thanks anyway.

Because of the sentences immediately preceding that one.

Sounds about right, tho.

“It’s Uber, but for money, man.”

Oh, weird - it doesn’t mention the Interstate Highway System either. What’s your take on that?

Less, of course, but yes, that is very unfortunately close.

Just goes to show that any time you begin to doubt whether these people are that fucking stupid, yes, be reassured that they are indeed that fucking stupid.

Alas, Rosita. Taken before her time.

See, I want to respond to them and say “oh, we have no intention of replacing you after you’re gone.”

Additional information:

(aide enters office)
“Sir, after a great deal of research and long nights in the lab, we’ve been able to determine that our initial decision was, in fact, as dumb as a sack of hammers crossbred with a bag of hair.”
“Dear God - we’ve got to correct this at once! To the Twitter!”

Problem is those sports radio waves have been propagating into space since the stupid fucking genre began, so the aliens have probably already quarantined us.

Haterade has the electrolytes ribs crave!

The country really is fractured, isn’t it.

I drink milk all the time. It’s fucking delicious.

The hallmark of someone who has never read his column (that’s a good thing and I envy you), because he mentions that ad nauseum.

Hot damn, didn’t know this and I have a regular Peach amiibo sitting around from getting it for my kids one Christmas to play with. Not a huge deal for me, but this will be helpful for them once I decide to trust them to handle the Switch.

Holy shit, do I wish someone would have thought of that.