What part of the state compelled this action, seeing as the state has been extending protection to the teams from liability for this type of thing all along?

Seriously, some old people are, but fuck them with broken chunks of bat at high speeds. This needs to happen.

I’d say that a person could carve out a good and productive career in the NFL based entirely upon the ability to bust out runbacks with regularity, until some numbnuts coach tries to turn him into a wide receiver for no good reason and wastes the rest of his time.

This is why I insult and belittle him at every opportunity, just in case he ever runs across something I post anywhere. Normal people wouldn’t care; he would.

“Oh man, those free-market, limited government types on the hill are gonna be upset about that.”

hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha! Thanks, I needed that. 

What if it’s sponsored by Jenga?

“McMahill said that officer didn’t have his body camera turned on, and he did not know why.”

Gosh, why do I feel like you aren’t asking this question in good faith?

“(for me, right up there with the swimsuit issue for must have every year)“

Same here - I recall it as rumored at the time but (probably obviously) never confirmed.

Seems like the day to hit first-career home runs.

Janay Rice apologizes for her role in this.

Would you say they’re a’poppin’?

Impressive. I’ve already finished.

““God is good, even in difficult times. Wonderful wife and family, and that’s my priority.” (ed. note: God did not respond by time of publication.) 

“and dumber than a sack of hammers.”

Hey, we already knew he was a dedicated Scientologist. 

I don’t believe such a thing exists.

Tina Fey has been doing her part - after mentioning Lemon Party and Tubgirl in 30 Rock, there was a seeming Goatse reference in the latest season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. (“seeming” in that it wasn’t quite as clear as the other two, but based on those prior jokes I and others definitely assume it was…

Why leave a deathbed confession that makes nobody but yourself look bad unless it’s true, though?

Both.