sarcasmfairy
sarcasmfairy
sarcasmfairy

Yeah, I got kicked out of a wedding. For starters I was a late addition to the bridal party because I was "the least likely of the bride's friends to get bitchy and butthurt about it" So the dress has already been picked at this point and it suits the rest of the girls (all skinny types) and so doesn't me (I'm a curvy

I'm with you about scallops. I'll take those over lobster any day of the week, preferably seared or wrapped in bacon. Interestingly, all seafood used to be poor people food because it was the easiest to come by in coastal communities. This is why so many cajun recipes use seafood.

This is why we can't have nice things

This is great on so many levels.

I don't understand how Hamlin and Nolte ever got the title. If I was in charge Johnny Depp would have gotten it more and Michael Fassbender would have too. Oh and Colin O'Donoghue. My preferences aside, $20 says Jamie Dornan gets it next year cuz ya know 50 shades of mania and all

Jack Sparrow should have been the Bucs and Captain Hook the Raiders cuz everyone knows the Raiders are a joke

Duggars staying up late is the most scandalous part

Good for you! Everyone is entitled to his or her own space bubble. Even as an adult its so hard to get some people to grasp that. I work with the intellectually disabled and they generally like to hug a lot. There are so many times where I end up having to duck, or shrug it off or just claim illness because they

Hope Singer's kid is a girl.

I know, right? I just bought some the other day. Apparently its supposed to smell like the Greek Isles or some shit. Wonder what the "hot" new de-stinkifier is, I bet its organic....

There's this really awesome thing, maybe she hasn't heard of it, its called the internet. On it she could view every bridesmaid's dress known to man and here's the best part....all from the comfort of her own home. Its AMAZING, somebody should really tell her.

Its so rare, that actually having common sense is like having a super power! Its a bird! Its a plane! Its "Are You Fucking Kidding Me" Woman!

You could see as it happened that something had gone very wrong. Blessedly for once it wasn't replayed ad nauseam

I just want to know who decreed that pumpkin spice *has* to be the taste of fall? Was it a committee? The president? Zhul? Personally I'm sticking with apple, I'm old school that way.

I've been training for a long time. As the wicked witch said "Oh what a world"

"Nothing good comes from clowns. Nothing good will ever come from clowns."

Amen! I had to divorce my ex before he'd grasp the basics of childcare and being a dad. He still doesn't know how to pay bills or clean though. He never cooks for the kids either. And his mom thinks I'm the lousy parent. SMH

In regards to your protip: True dat!

On the plus side at least you didn't have to reciprocate. Not much of a silver lining, but its something

This is sooo much awesome. Well played!