Well, so I’m tending bar up there at the Land of Always Winter last Tuesday and this little guy’s drinking and he says, “So where can a guy find some action? I’m goin’ crazy out there at the frozen lake.” And I says, “What kind of action?” And he says, “Dragon action. What do I look like?” And I says, “Well what do I…

“Alright, you hit 16, against his...[roll roll roll]...okay. You sail through the air, dagger at the ready, but he’s faster. The Night King catches you by the throat, and you feel his grip crack your windpi-”

Dear Penthouse,

No, there’s an actual Star Wars cannon that fires random words and letters at a board, like refrigerator magnet poetry, and that’s where the names of things (especially droids and ancillary characters) come from.

How did I not know they were making this?! This is quite literally my absolute favorite manga of all time. I’m kind of nervous, though, that from what I could glean from the trailer, they seem to be trying to condense the entire story into a single movie, which seems rather... bold? I mean, granted, they could…

TRUMP: Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SUPPORTERS: So tell us what you want, what you really, really want
TRUMP: I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
SUPPORTERS: So tell us what you want, what you really, really want
TRUMP: I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I…