They did the same thing with Artemis. Literally the only thing I found interesting about this movie adaptation was the chance for a canonically plus-size female character to be played for something other than laughs. But nope.

What Mr. Funsockz said.

I genuinely did not understand the love for this book. I listened to the Wil Wheaton audiobook, which I feel like is the most charming iteration of the work I could have possibly engaged with, and it was still a dystopian cultural wasteland with some really icky racism.

All answers that are not Claudia Black are wrong answers.

I was working a summer in college at a deli in a supermarket in the small PA town where I grew up. It was a pretty craptastic job and I regularly cut the shit out of myself on the slicer, but the pay was better than a lot of summer options. And the nicest perk was bumming a ride in off my boyfriend and having a coffee…

Then again, if your only frame of reference for a peen was Greek statuary, you’d probably look at an average human dick and be like whoa that thing is large and ridiculous.

The former. You can’t figure out where to focus.

Luckily the universe heard my complaints through the ether, because they followed it up with one of my new all-time favorite posters for the sequel.

I LOATHED this poster. Cluttered, impossible to scan, and the random neon lines made it look like a bad middle school picture day backdrop. Especially awful since the original Star Wars poster was so stunning.

I wonder how useful she’d be on the witness stand explaining positraction and independent rear suspension.

Theme park Gaston is used sparingly because he was starting to get mobbed beyond the park’s ability to handle it. People would put out on social that he was around and attendance would spike.

The original film was pretty transparently a high school allegory, with Gaston as the dumb football jock (sportsman, hangs out in a room full of trophies, hometown hero, interchangeable blond girls obsessed with him). Adding depth would have made the character not work. But thus far Luke Evans’ performance as Gaston…

This is literally the first second that I realized how much of a debt Steven Universe owes to Wrinkle in Time. Thank you.

Personally, I love how many things still get quoted and referenced in pop culture that people have no recollection started in Buffy. Like making adjectives out of words by adding -y.

If you consider Thor: The Dark World a Doctor Who movie, it almost immediately becomes much better. Nobody knocks a Dalek for wooden performances.

“...I don’t want to watch women save the universe, so I’m going to go watch anime.” Um...

That would definitely work. My idea was to make her afraid of the open ocean, so she’d have something to overcome.

I really liked the movie and am digging the soundtrack more each time I listen to it. LMM’s lyrics are really dense, even with the parking brake on for a kid audience.

However, Act 1 is keeping me from declaring this a masterpiece along with everyone else. Once Maui shows up, it’s off to the races. But the early bits…

I’m fairly certain her face doesn’t “relax” anymore.

I can’t imagine that Trump will appreciate the reminder that his wife was an adult woman in 1993.