It's an elephant with no face. Because they accomplished nothing.

Actually, now that I think about it, this exact same paradigm - moribund publication, paranoid office culture, immediate boss who was well-meaning, technophobe, complacent and female ridden roughshod over by a less-senior male jackass of a supervisor was also the structure of my SECOND-worst job.

They did not go about their jobs gallantly. They were basically goofuses.

While I was living in a podunk town caring for an elderly relative in the first stages of dementia, I got a job as a temp at a very well-known children's publication. There's a good chance you read this and nurture warm memories of it to this day. It was the worst job I ever had.

Matthew, thank you very much for your sincere and well-stated apology. I am glad you were able to learn from your actions and I wish you good luck in moving forward from this situation.

Did one of the bridesmaids forget her shoes?

Oh, Jareth was another good one.

My best friend, Catherine, was completely OBSESSED with Jonathan Brandis. After she moved to Florida, we would still call each other long-distance every Sunday during Seaquest:DSV and squeal about how cute he was during the credits.

He looks like someone put pictures of Sinatra and Mia Farrow in one of those face-combiner programs.

I have heard this exact same attitude espoused by many men who went to English boarding schools. Dawkins is a dick who ought to know better, but I think a lot of what we think of as the stiff-upper-lip British attitude is actually a form of PTSD that results from the fucking brutal way they used to treat their male…

Only once, but with a harpoon gun.

Haven't done it personally, but anyone who specifies the temperature of their coffee (in degrees, I mean, not "hot" or "iced") should be shot in the face.

You're under 34, yes?

Moreover, why to they pick the affectionate honorific only used in sex roleplay scenarios and when you're trying to get money for a new car stereo?

Epic, madam. Just epic. Brava.

Age: 18

Can they please battle naked?

In addition to the other things, you're a hell of a comedian. I laughed like crazy at this, in between the parts where I was amazed at your bravery. Thank you for writing it.

I cannot say how much I prefer this to either of the song's actual videos.

Also, maybe it's my imagination but British designers seem to get this a little better than American designers do. I sweat 3/4 of my clothing purchases in the last two years have been from the same few British websites.