Or like a cross to a Vampire. “The power of Pork compels you!”

Hey Jim-Bob? Did you done did skin a mouse and hang it on my door?

That anti-Islamic people continue to think that bacon is to Muslims as kryptonite is to Superman is so hilarious.

Great. Can I wrap a used tampon around the door to a gun shop?

Yours wasn’t at all sexy.

PLACED A BOTTLE OPENER ON PENIS THINKING IT WOULD FEEL GOOD BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK AND NOW IT IS NECROTIC

I don’t think it’s a tough one at all. Nobody’s at their best when they don’t feel well; it’s not uncommon at all for hospital staff to have to deal with a “difficult” patient who doesn’t understand what’s happening and/or is being loud and belligerent about treatment. It’s part of the job. It is part of the job to…

or maybe she had an ongoing problem that wasn’t properly diagnosed or treated. This time it killed her.

How wealthy were his parents, out of curiosity? Like McMansion-rich, or Swiss bank account rich? What is the cut-off for wealth to become afflicted with “affluenzia”?

What are the odds that mom and Ethan can’t be found because they are on the lam, in Switzerland? (or somewhere equally fancy that lacks extradition to the U.S?)

Also depends on your scalp. If it’s very dry, you have totally, totally different needs from a human oil factory like me. And someone who falls somewhere in between has yet other needs...

Trust someone named Chaz and this is what happens.

“could retain control of her own money”

Ted Cruz, your mother doesn’t want to be there. Let the poor woman go.

ayyy dios mio

I like his little “this is a good baby” ... ::smooch:: at the end. Like kissing the top of its little head was just an involuntary reaction to seeing a baby head. This guy really likes kids!

You’d think David Boreanaz was used to dealing with bloodsuckers.

If I may point out, it is pretty easy to accidentally cut off someone entering an airport, as there are usually about a million signs to try to process in a split second and usually several lanes to decide upon. It can be tricky.