Have Josh Mankiewicz play him. Or maybe Barry Hader doing his Josh Mankiewicz impression.

He can’t even be arsed to come up with original lukewarm takes and is just copy-pasting the same comment into every reply. It’s super bland, boilerplate trolling, and there’s something sad about people still using “SJW” as an insult in 2019.

Guess the dummy heard we were talking about him:

Well thank fuck these attention-whoring cretins are passing on their genes, as I assume their offspring will provide the first season contestants of Ow! My Balls!.

I went back through my notifications and his replies are no longer there, so it must have been one of the accounts you managed to get booted.

I’ve been working my way through Ash vs. Evil Dead (I’m almost done with the 2nd season) since it landed on Netflix last week. It’s the most bonkers fucking thing I’ve ever seen, to the point where at least once per episode I’m like HOW IS THIS A THING THAT GOT MADE AND AIRED ON CABLE TV (in a good way), but I’m not…

Are you aware that you have an evil twin running amok in the Stranger Things comments and whining about how “SJWs” “ruined” the show by making Robin a “lezzy”? It gave me a moment of severe confusion, as you are a prolific commenter and I’ve never known you to be a shitbag. He was still in the greys last time I…

We’ll have to agree to disagree.

No mention of Defending Your Life? That was my favorite role of his. “I’d tell you where I was but you wouldn’t understand.” “Don’t treat me like a moron.” “I was trapped near the inner circle of thought.” “I don’t understand.” “Told you.”

I’ve never understood this site’s enduring love for Unfriended, which to me hit that unpleasant intersection of being bad, but not bad enough to be amusing. (Also, it gave me a headache.) That scene where someone kills themselves with a flat iron was as close as it ever got to the latter.

I’m aware of the calendar year, Paul. I’m also aware that they only lived 40 miles away from each other, and that Roy had both a license and access to a vehicle.

I’m giving you a star for your honesty, creep.

*shrug* Not a complaint, I just wonder if it’s the best choice. Like, I wouldn’t even know this stupid backlash existed if it weren’t for the reaction to it that seems kind of outsized and like it’s probably giving these dumb trolls the attention they were angling for by making the tweets in the first place. I’m not…

So, who else cracked up at Nancy Grace screeching that Michelle Carter used a dead boyfriend to generate sympathy and attention? You wouldn’t know anything about that, right Nancy?? TOT MOM!!!

Even without taking into account that probably half of the tweets are the work of Russian trolls, are there really enough of them to justify the amount of screaming I’m seeing from the left (of which I am definitely a part)? Like, I’m not doubting that the usual racist idiots are being shitty about a black Ariel; I…

Conrad Roy wasn’t Michelle Carter’s “boyfriend”. That was a lie she perpetuated after his death to drum up sympathy. They were platonic friends who’d only met in person a couple of times.

What?

The remake. Not the original.

To the sad little tittybaby leaving dozens of copypasta comments whining about “SJWs” “ruining” Stranger Things: you’ll have to dangle that get-out-of-the-greys bait somewhere else. I’m not going to take it, not least because your comments are bad and stupid and I have zero desire to interact with you.

I’m a child of the ‘80s who saw it, but only as a stoner teenager in the ‘90s. It has a pre-Law & Order Michael Moriarty being referred to as someone’s “male secretary”, a detail which always cracked me up. And the opening shot is a couple of hoboes stumbling across the titular ooze burbling out of the ground and…