That hit me, too. So Kelly is saying he doesn’t have a cult but he is a slave owner? That’s... a weird defense.

And that’s worth noting, because “he played piano for Rachmaninoff himself!” was constantly trotted out as proof of Hodel’s genius. So the fact that the playing ended with Rachmaninoff going “meh” recasts that origin story in an entirely different light

I don’t doubt Jackson didn’t molest any of the boys he hung out with that were also celebrities. They weren’t good victims because he couldn’t snow them and their parents with money, privilege, and access. They already had that.

“No talented artist has ever done terrible things, checkmate HBO!”

Or the Mormon mockbuster Oh My Heckboy

Fruitopia was a dumb ‘90s thing—it’s all over Independence Day, since it was a Coca Cola product and Coke practically got a producer credit on that movie. Sales started flagging in the late ‘90s and I’m sure by the early 00's it had mostly disappeared.

I can’t say I’ve never had a shamrock shake, but it’s probably only been 3 or 4 times in my 44 years, and I normally love anything mint-flavored. It’s probably because my mother constantly talks about how my older brother once threw up a shamrock shake and french fries—this was before I was even born. Vomit was the…

I live about 20 minutes from Avery Island, LA where Tabasco was invented (and where they still grow the seed peppers), but I prefer another Louisiana brand, Crystal.

My newest podcast discovery is Knowledge Fight, which dissects and demolishes Alex Jones. They cover some present day episodes, but find post-Trump Jones to be pretty boring, as he always goes with the expected Trump talking points—granted, the worst possible version of them, but still totally predictable (of course…

One of my favorite novels, Rebecca, is narrated by a fictional character without a name. She never names herself, and no one ever calls her anything but “Mrs. de Winter”. du Maurier even has Maxim de Winter, in their first real conversation, remark that she has a “lovely and unusual” first name, knowing that we’ll…

That sucks, considering his is one of the most iconic live albums ever released. Well, at least he’s had time to prepare for it, I guess. Hope he has luck with the experimental treatment.

Swindled podcast recently did an episode about Sylvia Browne that was just brutal, if you want more of that. I knew she was full of shit and had coasted for decades on one lucky guess (“a tragedy involving a Kennedy and water”—just playing the odds if you ask me—shortly before Chappaquiddick), but there were a lot of…

I was born about a decade and a half too late to have been in the first wave of Monkees fans, but by the time I was a toddler the show was in syndication and I have fond memories of watching it in the afternoon from preschool to about 2nd grade. And their records were literally the first ones I owned—like, actual…

Yeah I really look forward to hearing WHAT ABOUT JUSSIE SMOLLETT HUH??? in online discussions of bigotry and hate crimes from now until the heat death of the universe.

I have a red Swingline on my desk as I type this. That’s one definite legacy of Office Space.

Crushing the souls of children with terrible festivals that in no way live up to their advertising is apparently something of an English tradition:

Oh, I thought everyone was talking about Jar Jar Binks because of the weird, sing-songy cadence Trump used while declaring his unmergency. I never actually saw any of the prequels, on account of how they looked fucking terrible (and apparently were).

You forgot Almond Roca, though. I guess just because the cans are pink, they seem to be omnipresent around Valentine’s Day, and they’re always on sale February 15th. Do I take advantage of that? Hell yeah.

I follow his dog’s Instagram account. He owns a Pomeranian, because of course he does. I mean, it’s a cute dog AND breathtakingly beautiful scenery, everyone should follow it.

Doesn’t Thailand sometimes have outbreaks of men hallucinating that their penises are shrinking, or drawing into their bodies? Those 2 things may not be unrelated (if I have the right country, it might have been somewhere else in Asia).