The number of times I’ve rooted through poop with a poop bag because my of the aftermath of ‘oh god, WHAT DID YOU EAT?’

In the irony of ironies, I actually had to go essentially to work to serve my federal jury duty. So I used my jury travel monies that were way more than the money left on my transit pass and bought like $35 of mexican food on my 3 hour lunch. It was a glorious furlough feast, brought to you by the federal government.

I’m still waiting on my taco truck on every corner, damnit. 

I’m definitely more pissed at Turtle. My job is deeply involved with constitutional matters and what not and he’s just giving a giant fuck you to the processes put in place to balance powers and it pisses me off. I’m not a strict interpretation person of the constitution. The founders didn’t have a set idea of exactly…

Oh fuck that’s awful. One of my coworkers had his last day as a recall day. So at least he got to do some final tours, but in the shittiest way possible. His retirement party was just a bunch of essentially unemployed people talking about what we are or are not doing.

Day whatever of this shutdown as a furloughed employee and I’m pretty much 50% alcohol by volume. The other 50% might be mexican food. 

I wish I was actually at work, since my job is 18th century history, politics, and life, particularly how women participate in it and TADA.

I’m a little hazy on the details of what method they came to being born again virgins, I was too dumbstruck by the drawing on the board that vividly illustrated how sex was the equivalent of a firey car crash. They were people who had had sex, and for reasons beyond me, decided that being a virgin was important to…

In high school (how this happened, I have no idea. I don’t think the teacher got approval from the school), we had several days of talks with a group of college students who were ‘born again virgins’. And telling us the wonders of being a virgin and that sex would kill you.

My body is ready. 

Ezekiel bread could be used as building material if push comes to shove. 

This is fascinating. 

I’m mostly mad at all the older women in my life who now are like ‘oh, yeah, you didn’t know that? They don’t grow back.’ WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME GODDAMNIT. 

It certainly sounds like he has a finite amount of emotional energy and it’s being all eaten at work.

I’m about two days away from cleaning my boyfriend’s apartment. You’re next!

It’s dumb as shit and I hate that it is hurting people and places.

I am a furloughed government employee and I’ve pretty much cleaned everything and have run my dishwasher about 80 times.

I’m not civil enough for Tinder and Bumble, per my reaction to that message you got. 

“I’m very glad you have a pulse” 

Due to the fact OrangeHitler means I haven’t gone to work in three weeks, I haven’t shampooed my hair in....a very long time. I normally only shampoo once a week anyway, but yeah.