Not only that, but I’m SO sick of this notion that we ‘weren’t really serious when we said no repeatedly’ if we do not swing our fists or kick.

I’m conflicted about how to respond to you. I don’t want to judge your experience or your reaction or how you feel about what happened to you. And I do want to respond to your premise, and your comment on the experience of this writer. So if you don’t feel like interacting with me, I’ll ask you to stop reading and I…

5/7 would get the hose again.

... It’s generally a bad idea to blame victims for using whatever coping mechanisms they have available to them. Lots of people cope with the trauma of rape by trying to redefine it as consensual. Ending a friendship over that is a little bit like being mad at someone who’s drowning for splashing too much.

“was it raped”

That legit made me vomit in my mouth.

“I took ownership of my decision so it wasn’t assault”.

She said no and froze like a corpse. It’s not like he was special needs. I am sure he gathered she was not into it. He ignored her no and hours of pushing away. Rape is rape and no means no. We shouldn’t have to worry about how to make it easier for the rapist.

She said no. A bunch. Good luck with the rest of Jezebel. I pity you. Lol

She said no repeatedly. She never consented, she never assented (as someone points out in another comment). Lying there and not participating in the sexual encounter is a clear sign of discomfort and not consenting. Rape looks like this too. If she was “being coy” she would have participated or responded to the…

I just sat there and dealt with it. I figured once he saw I’d be as responsive as a corpse, he’d give up.

If there is a woman alive who has not had this experience, I’d like to meet her, because she is a rare, rare creature. I’m so grateful to you for sharing your story and elaborating on the complexity of consent. So many people want to make it a black-and-white, yes-or-no issue, and the more people who stand up and say…

This. This a million times. “Freeze response” is legitimate and completely ignored, sometimes undermined, by society.

She gave him clear signs. What an assface. As a favor. Wish I could give him a favor with my hand across his face.

“Freezing is a third fear response recognized in the field of psychology but, for some reason, missing from public discourse. Someone tries to put a hand on me; I’m uncomfortable, but I can’t move or speak. “No” is not clear.” http://ladyclever.com/culture/freezi…

The author said no many times and never gave consent. This is rape.

I want to see that. (trying to insert check), banker comes out with a wtf look on their face. (turn to banker) “do you have a bigger atm”?

Psssshhh, amateur. I’m doing it via my cell phone. (Though I’ll almost assuredly have to climb a ladder to get the entire check in the photo.)

bad idea, most banks are only federally insured for $100,000 per person, so if the bank went belly-up or something happened you’d loose all but 100,000 in the account. Hence the legal advisers and special account advise

You should only be paying taxes for the state in which you live when you receive your payments. So if you take the annuity, which is the smart move, you would want to establish residency in one of the states that does not have income tax as soon as possible. You probably wouldn’t be able to avoid state taxes with your…