I didn’t drink until I was 25 and I have been making up for lost time. I recently had my first proper British night out, in that I got pissed, did a wee in a hedge, and then ate fast food. It was McDonalds rather than a kebab but it still felt like a rite of passage.

I am one of nature’s eternally cold people so I am always wrapped up warm but I used to see girls around campus wearing shorts and no tights in winter. I assumed they’d come to uni from somewhere up country (it is a stereotype that northern girls don’t feel the cold) but then a few weeks ago I saw a binman loading up…

I love Bernie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think Hillary is the bigger redneck. Just listen to her when she drawls every time she’s in a Southern church. It’s magic! She’s so authentic!

RIP!!! Bonus flick of my tía showin off her green card

Oh, man. I’m sorry. Your story is sad but funny at the same time, and I must say I laughed out loud. I really liked the way you told it.

When I was a baby my parents bought a black cat and named him Max. He wasn’t very friendly and was very independent (and would often disappear for over a week doing god knows what) but as a small child I still considered him mine. When I was 5 I came home from Kindergarten one day (I walked home which I’m pretty sure…

My mom told me that if I didn’t make my bed, brown recluse spiders would burrow into my warm sheets and bite my toes. Then I’d need my foot amputated.

I’m super late on this, but when I was 4 or 5, I was presented with eggs benedict at a fancy breakfast. I did not want to eat them because they weren’t scrambled. So my dad told me that I used to eat them all the time “when you were younger”, and that I loooooved them. I gobbled them right up.

You have got to be kidding me. I, as well, just found out that wasn’t true from this post. I am 28. whuttt.. my poor head right now...

Same.

I’m 48 and I just found out that wasn’t true because you said so now.

So I was used to my father by the time I heard this, but I got to see an entire tour bus of 5th graders get punked, so I’m using it anyway:

When I was six, we fly to Hawaii on Christmas Eve. Of course, I freaked out about Santa and my dad told me he’d emailed Santa (this was 1992) and he was bringing our presents early. And then, we went to a holiday party and when we came home, Santa had arrived! I definitely thought my dad was a magician.

so did your mom believe it to or was she like, “HA! SEE?! Just half naked college students!”

When I was four my sister told me that Aunt Jemima was my biological aunt. I didn’t question it for another three years.

My dad completely convinced me that cows who lived in mountainous areas had shorter legs on one side of their body so they could graze on the sides of hills. I 100% believed him. So in fifth grade, when we were learning about evolutionary adaptations in animals, like those fish who live in caves that don’t have eyes,…

My brother told me that “fly-fishing” was when you rented a helicopter and flew over a river with your fishing line hanging down from the helicopter into the river.