You know how warm those things are inside?

Clearly the real problem is that there was no partner in crime to sing Funky Town.

I managed a grocery store for a few years, so I have quite a few stories. A lot of the better ones involve poop, but I’ll save that for the “Inexplicable Toilet Stories” section.

Oh god that dude (not the same one, but definitely the same type) lives below me. He wants to be friends with *EVERYONE* in the apartment building. I finally had to yell at him because he would not. stop. fucking. talking to me as we both came home from the metro. Boundaries, man. Boundaries.

A couple years back, my husband and I were at this big sports bar across from the stadium for a baseball game here in Tampa. (If you’re a local, you likely know the one.) It’s super packed, the wait and bar staff are flying everywhere, customers are trying to poach somewhere to sit because EVERY table, stool, and bit…

Did he look like this?

So, this isn’t a food service story, but hand-smacking brought it to mind.

When you consider how often America needs to be reminded of it?

You mean the gluten that holds us all together...

NEVER!

Seeing as someone’s already getting niggly about “cross-contamination”* between regular & gluten-free bread in the fucking toaster, I have a feeling that you’re right, god help us all.

BCO is the glue that holds us all together.

For toast? Oh come on. For nuts or shellfish, or anything else that can result in anaphylactic shock, sure, for Celiac? - FUCK NO.

It’s like you WANT people to get poisoned by Illuminati kale.

That said, she must give one hell of a blowjob.

You know, I was always that asshole who was against DVR’ing live sporting events, but I now purposely watch all games on a 45 minute to 1 hour lag so I can skip commercials throughout.

Want!

So long as Tim Curry does the voice of the Onboard computer.

Where’s Batty and Crysta when ya need them? #obligatoryferngullypost

Horrible coworkers clearly bullying a person with food allergies by eating all their birthday ice cream. Come on.