Uh…aren't those called ovipositors?

Are we putting the women in boats now?

…Fig Newtons?

It's actually not hard to get a human body above 98.6 degrees if you have a large enough stockpot.

That's President Evil Commie Murderer to you!

Yeah — at least the F-16 has the decency to look a little ashamed of itself.

Season 5, in which Paige gets really into the Command & Conquer games.

Hopefully my Nationals know better than to invite this cretin or his boss to throw out a first pitch.

Yes — and/or how gross it is when guys hang around women and act like their friends when all they're really interested in is getting in their pants and feel like they're entitled to sex if they're "nice".

I don't think it was a promotion. He definitely did lose quite a bit of weight. If I remember right, the premise of the short was that his "character" decided to start working out and dieting to get through a tough breakup. It was kind of sweet.

IIRC, he did a digital short based on his weight loss a year or two ago.

Duh, but I think we were supposed to sympathize with him.

I don't know — have the guy gradually reveal himself to be an unappealing jerk, maybe? It's a pretty hackneyed sketch either way.

I kept hoping the "Friend Zone" segment would undercut its premise — it was disappointing that they just played it straight.

This was nice. Parks & Recreation helped get me through Inauguration Day (and I expect that, as per usual, I'll be going back to that well a lot over the next four years…Christ…) and Aziz Ansari was a comforting presence.

It seems like they've dialed back on the smug power-tripping ever since he fell on the treadmill.

That's totally a feeling grounded in reality, too. When my ex-wife left me, just a couple of days after our one-year anniversary, one of my first thoughts was, "What are all of my friends and family who were at our wedding just a year ago going to think of me?"

"even though the audience is seeing the characters are expressing their feelings or communicating to each other in song, the characters aren't actually constantly singing within the reality of their universe."

I wonder how many best friends I made during middle school, high school, and college who completely or near-completely dropped out of my life as soon as I wasn't in class with them all the time. (No one's fault, really, and certainly no hard feelings — it's just something that happens. Life goes on and they're just…

Heather is totally a Slytherin.