If you’re a car enthusiast in 2017 and you’re buying any mid-sized sedan, you’re doing it wrong.

“Hideous ransom note of a car” is such a perfect descriptor for this mess. Well done.

I never understood the “it would poach sales argument”. Doesn’t it poach sales in any market where the GTI and ‘Roc are offered together? Does the CC not poach sales from the Passat? How is this different?

If they sold this in the States, it would almost certainly only be sold with the 2.0T.

We’re sure he wasn’t talking about this thing, right?

Team NA over here. It might just be my imagination, but I always thought the original car sounded a little better in stock form than the NB. Anyone know if there were actually any differences between the intake / exhausts of the NA6s and the pre-VVT NBs?

“The Reassembler” and the“James May Drives His Old Porsche to Work” videos are some of my favorite things on the internet.

I have no idea what you just said, but I was referring to the fact that it looks like a catfish that’s just been kicked in the balls.

That’s not the only thing about it that’s fucked up:

There are a lot of ways to ensure that a kit airplane is properly assembled and safe, chief among which is to have the build inspected at various stages by a certified mechanic. It’s also customary for new builders to take a series of relevant classes and/or shadow more experienced builders for a while. Like…

Can’t wait until I start seeing all those “1984 or Real Life” quizzes showing up in my Facebook feed.

And here’s another reason from Road and Track’s first drive:

We should probably all just take a minute (read: six hours) to listen to Dan Carlin’s latest Hardcore History podcast. It’s very good / terrifying.

But we must never forget the incredible cars of Archer:

This. I am constantly baffled by the assumptions that are made by folks who read a set of car reviews and assume that is somehow a substitute for a test drive. “Well Jalopnik said the WRX was fun, and in the BRZ review, they said it was also fun. They must feel identical and be equally fun! Time to go rank my children…

For years the Miata and MazdaSpeed 3 shared space on dealer lots, and no one thought it was unusual. Just like the WRX and BRZ, they are completely different cars. Seriously. And I’m saying this to the entire internet, not just you: Stop comparing spec sheets and reading reviews. Go drive the cars for yourself.

Because you’re going to sell it on Sunday! ZING!

I tried playing Unity after Syndicate, and I just couldn’t get through it. I can deal with the odd control glitch here or graphical hiccup there, but a lot of the missions were just broken or unintuitive.

Best of luck! I really miss driving my R56, but I don’t miss the frequent four-figure repair bills.

As the comedian Patton Oswalt put it, “2016 is like when you try to fart and instead end up shitting your pants & Trump gets elected President”