I prefer to invert two hotdog buns, and put them on perpendicular to my burger. Like this:|o|. It’s not very easy to eat, and doesn’t taste particularly good, but it does look like a tie fighter, so it has that going for it.

I for one would be happy to receive a large scented candle, as long as it smells nice.

how do I remove stars from somebody?

What a terrible selection. I mean I’m no connoiseur of frozen pizzas, but even mass market stuff like digiornos or freschetta are way better than any of these.

by square inches of pizza, it’s 10 pizzas worth. so you’re paying 30 dollars a pizza.

no worries, just pop it in your ove... oh... I see the issue here.

I think you should. It’s so ubiquitous to have free refills in America, that not pointing it out is kind of a dick move.

Honestly given that 99% of restaurants in America don’t charge for soft drink refills, I would very much appreciate a server mentioning that. It’s like a surcharge for bringing ketchup or tabasco over, or heck, for having salt and pepper on the table. It’s so outside the norm, that guests should absolutely be…

I responsibly walk to the movie theater.

Well yes, of course I don’t sneak into the bathroom to do it. 

Moist and chewy with the slightest crispy edges. As you bite in you think, wow these are the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had. You feel the toothsome bite of the oats, the subtle fruity sweetness of the raisin. and suddenly realize, I’m eating an Oatmeal Raisin cookie, not a chocolate chip. My god, the ideal…

Is it wrong to be still doing this in your 30s? Asking for a friend.

blue cheese is the only acceptable dip for buffalo wings.

Looks just like standard midwestern tavern pizzaa.

What was once a taboo is becoming a challenge.

I’d love to taste your granny’s pie.

so you are saying rotting rhinocerous would go well with caesar dressing?

or blowing straw wrappers at her cleavage, and yelling “He’s on fire” when one makes it in.

“Hi Salty, There are 400 restaurants near my work. One of them only serves pizza. I don’t like pizza, and everytime I go there for lunch, I order a steak. Each time they inform me that pizza is the only thing they sell. What do i do?”

And due to the lack of ass covering, no chaps are really assless... you just provide the ass yourself.