Let’s be real: Melania has been keeping away from Donald’s white hose for a while now.

I honestly don’t know whether to be relieved or even more terrified. Is it possible their utter ineptitude could save us? Or will it doom us all?

Can we just have a round of appreciation here for the Jezebel writers, who have been ON THIS SHIT like nobody’s business? I am filled with love right now.

Say that to his face!

hnnng yes glasses Indy is peak Indy

Yeah Harrison Ford is one of the reasons I’m sure I’m bi and not a lesbian.

Uh, Han Solo Harrison Ford pretty much awoke my sexuality. WOULD DO YES INDEED YES.

I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

Since you probably need your job and can’t say it, I’ll say it for you - Your boss can go fuck herself.

I saw a great meme today that said her 1st act as First Lady will be to find moose and squirrel.

As a black man who talks white enough to fit in to white suburbia well I am surrounded by coded racism constantly. I couldnt be less surprised by this if I tried. 8 years later there are still allegedly intelligent and credible people who believe Obama is the secret leader of ISIS because hes black and his fucking…

It also bothered me but it sounds like the deputy was very emotional about what he saw, so I’ll give it a pass.

YIIIKKKESSSS!!!!!!!!!

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there is an intersection of Amy Schumer fans and Trump voters.

I hate when they describe it as a heartwrwnching decision. When I volunteered at PP the women were usually happy about their decisions and adamant they didn’t want a child at that time. Quite a few wanted sterilization but had difficulty finding a doctor who would do that.

NO HE DOESN’T! He has the best septum. It’s exemplary. His doctor wrote a note about it and everything saying it was the best septum he’d ever seen.

Well, that clinches it. I won’t be voting for Bill Clinton in the 2016 election.

You know, as I’m sitting here reading this story and watching footage of Trump surrounded by Bill Clinton Accusers, I’ve been trying to figure out how much lower this campaign can get: what the “rock bottom” will possibly be, and I think I’ve found the answer: