I HEART JULIE WATERS!!!

I think that every time I make a cup of tea and realise I am, in fact, holding a small crocodile by the tail rather than a tea bag. It’s madness here. I don’t know how we cope.

Not only are all four of these people the fakiest fakes, I am starting to doubt that Australia is real.

I applaud her but I find it strange that she seems so manic about it. Almost as if she has left satin’s layer and now has found the true religion. It seems weird to me.

Remember when Jessica Chastain was caught lying about her age? Part of me says “Yes, I understand the realities of your business. The pressures you’re under to be young. The employability factor.”

yes.

*wildly raises hand* I know! I know what they’re up to! I have an 11 year old who came to me in tears last night because this boy “died of anxiety”. YouTube is all to these kids. It’s their Nick, their Disney. They don’t watch TV, they search for things they like (nail polish, gymnastics, nasty ass candy challenges)…

what constitutes a popular family youtube channel

I believe that’s “I’m missing teeth” face...

After Julia Roberts started dating that married dude and then went around wearing a shirt rubbing it in the wife’s face, FUCK Julia Roberts. I’m sure there’s more to the story but still, not classy.

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

I went to a funeral for a teenager and the service sheet was written in Comic Sans.

FTW: my husband and I went to our former boss’ mother’s funeral. After his sister read a ‘poem’ about their mother—which was just a ten minute long list of things she liked (She liked the color blue. She liked smoking cigarettes...)- our former boss stepped to the front of the room and hit play on a small, old school…

And now I’ve won pissing contest twice, Madeline! And my one post got starred over 1000 times! CAN I PLEASE BE OUT OF THE GREYS NOW?!

I don’t understand the worshiping of either of them that goes on. Rihanna drives me up a wall with her personality and always comes off as petulant and entitled to me. Beyoncé has some great songs and is obviously talented, but I definitely think she’s overrated as well. Something about both their attitudes just…

Do you think she’s aware that calling herself ‘couzounian’ is not helping matters? CUZ COOZE.

As long as Kraft Macaroni & Cheese don’t break up I can survive the rest.

Wow. My Mom was the kindest human on the planet, full of pure love for everyone (the only exceptions were Rush Limbaugh and George W. Bush). Why, Universe, did you take my sweet Mama from this earth but leave this Momster?

I once walked through a giant spider web and ended up with one of these on my face. I don’t text and walk any more.

We have sunshine, great coffee, cheep wine that comes in foil bags and gun control. :)