She's not even a Southern Belle and doesn't have any claim to Southern culture whatsoever, for better or for worse. That's what struck me as the most preposterous thing about that whole dumb plagiarized article. She's from Burbank. Go write some purple prose romanticizing In n' Out or Universal City Walk or all the…

On Gawker's story, a bunch of guys with glaucoma opined that lightly tinted purple glasses would do jack shit. Also everyone said glaucoma gives you killer headaches, so now I'm sure I have it.

THIS IS WHY I KEEP TELLING YOU GUYS TEAM PIE. TEAM PIE FOR ALWAYS. CAKE IS BULLSHIT.

Everyone stop telling everyone else to shut up. According to several sources, including my 2nd grade English teacher, "shut up" is a curse word.

I bet he smells like weed, bronzer, and lube. He's just got that vibe.

My ex-boyfriend used to swear he once hooked up with a Jonas Brother (the married one). I always told him I didn't believe him, and then one day he said, "if I was gonna lie about hooking up with a Jonas, why would I say it was the ugly one??"

Thank you good lord in heaven for this. And thank you fucking Mark Shrayber for giving me a place to lust over these photos once more. The afternoon is dragging. I don't want to know how old this young man is, I just want to stare at his crotch.

If you're determined to have pastoral peace and quiet all the time, maybe New York is not for you. If you're determined to have a geothermic eco-well on your own land, maybe New York is not for you. I humbly suggest the Connecticut suburbs and Iceland, respectively.

My baby's birth (she's 10 weeks old) was 23 hours and 100% natural. My husband and I had taken Bradley method classes to prepare, which is very focused on husband-coached labor. During labor I vomited twice, pooped all over the place, and had a mirror to see my vagina in all its glory during the pushing phase, yet…

I was in a birthing class, with less than a month to go, and shouted, "OOOH, WHAT?!" When the baby crowned. I had never seen it before.
Thank god for my surgery.

When my mother gave birth to me, my dad said that she was in so much pain, she nearly dislocated his wrist when he tried to leave the operating room (16 hours of labor y'all!).

Remember those Fashion Plate cards where you could combine various tops with various bottoms at random? I think that's who designed Lena's dress.

I'm bemoaning the fact that I can't post the one I took with her and Thurston when I was taking them around to D.C. record stores circa Evol. She looks much the same, whereas I, alas, do not.

More like SMUGshot, right you guys?

her aol on series Candidly Nicole is HILARIOUS. And now it's on vh1!!!

See, I would assume he would drink anything, no matter how shitty. I mean, can he even taste booze at this point? Show me Martha Stewart sipping your liver-pickler and I'm in. An endorsement from Keifer just makes me think your bottle is the easiest to hold while driving.

Have you seen that there's a commercial where he's schilling liquor?! Who the fuck hires a known alcoholic to advertise their booze.

I respect Cindy, but she's such a square (or was at the time of House of Style). Cindy's the OG, we've all got to give her that, but Amber and Shalom were so much more fun.

Yesss... bent knee, arm under the pillow alll the way. I've never known anyone else who sleeps that way.