What are you watching? My brother is going to take my son overnight in two weeks. Should I, a.) go to a bar and try to hook up? B.) Go to a,movie or ac.) Stay at home and chill?

It's another exciting Saturday night at home. The joys of single motherhood never get better. I'm currently sitting in front of the complex laundry mat drinking cheap wine out of a plastic Grant's Farm cup and smoking while my kid is od'ing on an Amazing Orange DVD.

PLEASE HOLLYWOOD PLEASE GIVE US AN ALL MALE CHARLIE'S ANGELS IT WOULD BE AMAZING

This is how I know that Joe Biden is my soulmate.

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

GONDOR NEEDS NO CONTEXT

Hey, my wife! When did she become a dude?

I've actually heard that teens love tactics like this. I had a boss who started drug testing her sons after a scare and one told her years later that he really appreciated it because instead of feeling peer pressure and all he had to is say "my mom drug tests me" instead of having someone harass him.

WAIT WAIT WAIT! They go to all the trouble of establishing that Tina is 18 AND they get Jimmy Jr. and a Zombie together and NOTHING HAPPENS!???

The Real Tina would be furious! That is her literal dream!

I told my thirteen year-old daughter that she should always judge pictures she shares with others by whether or not it would bother her for her dad to see them— because if a picture gets you in trouble and you need us to squash something or just generally have your back, we're are going to see it. So, think about your…

I really doubt that teens today really consider sexting to be first base.

vaguely related observation

#atheists4mayonnaise

Song of the South is a woefully underrated Disney Film. All but ignored by Disney.

"I don't want children walking near 'internet people' meeting."

Sometimes it's best to err on the side of leaving strangers alone.

I lost something.. HANDWRITING. I find while of course I can still write, I have far less muscle memory than before.. I can't seem to make it neat, it's not a fluid non-thinking motion, etc.

ohh what a nerd.. but I do think it's awesome

WHY IS EVERYONE LEAVING?!!?! I hate this. I fear change.

I've decided to forever picture the so-and-so as looking like this: