Get in line, Snape!

This is pretty much what I was thinking, though I feel a little bit bad about putting it in words. I hadn't heard much about her lately though and given the sort of press she used to get, that was a good thing.

I was watching the live feed yesterday (shut up) and was totally going, "All the way for a royal scandal! All the way for a royal scandal!"

I'm a bad person.

"It's easy to take those situations and assure yourself that you'll never be like that as a parent. But man, parenting never stops."

"I will never allow my children (if/when I have them)..."

After one year, we're finally making money on our small business! (Not much but...it's happening!) Yay! In your face, doubters.

I love Craig Ferguson. I'd be happy with that. I may have to youtube a bunch of his vids now.

I feel like the music festival gene is something you're either born with or you're not because, honestly, even when people describe their good experiences I feel like I'd rather spend time in a scuba suit full of angry bees.

I think I aged out of this stuff too, but it was fun while it lasted. Wear sun screen, kids, and condoms. Yes, multiple condoms.

Who could stand to be around drunk college kids for a week?

I'm pretty sure that's what Dante described in the third level of hell.

Huge shoutout to Gawker Media's undersung graphics geniuses Jim Cooke and Sam Woolley for laboring over that map. They're both amazing, glorious people and I'd probably be dead without them.

I can't be the only one who saw the headline and thought ...

This is not about Doctor Who.

I know there's no proof that my wardrobe is a gateway to Narnia. But I've seen some anecdotal evidence that says otherwise.

Caffeine is what makes me have even a little. I don't think I could physically leave the house without it.

How the fuck did Champagne beat Vodka?! SOMEONE WAS PAID OFF. I DEMAND A RECOUNT.

Caffeine it is, that substance that brings you back to life every morning and keeps you productive during the day.

"Once upon a time, there was a lovely little sausage called Baldrick. And it lived happily ever after. The end."