The caustic gruel in my spit cup is cleaner than that.

As a lifelong Pirates fan, I take great pleasure in the Braves' misery. Stupid Sid Bream.

Yeah Johnny! You rock that "I've ALWAYS been an asshole!!!!" shit!

The saddest part of this story is that there's an entity called the Breitbart Patriot News Forum.

God, I love pictures of Goodell caught mid-blink, where he looks like a cross between a Looney Toons character that just got hit in the face and someone having a stroke.

Has there ever been a more pronounced meeting between genius and complete fucking idiot? This is the equivalent of Stephen Hawking and Rob Gronkowski crossing paths.

This is just sad all the way around. I'm sure these girls weren't on their way to a Mensa meeting, but they should still be alive.

Hey, they can go to the Mensa meetings together now.

The whole time I was watching this, I was thinking, "Fuck this dead-behind-the-eyes mouthbreather. And fuck Greg Hardy, too."

Based on the picture, Stanton was wheeled around the bases on a gurney. He then celebrated with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Make that "thought".

Is it wrong that at first glance, I though that was Biz Markie cheering on the Huskies?

Coach K has always reminded me of the teacher who doesn't allow you to chew gum in class. Thank God he is there to preserve the honor of the game for these student-athletes.

I guarantee you there was one dude who occasionally adjusted his junk throughout, and the brothers all called him a fag and high-fived.

I love the smile on his face, like, "This is the second time today a black guy's junk has been on my neck! What are the odds??!"