Gocha: $20 per save file.

Good for you, it plays great, just not like the original.

Nintendo should just cut out the middle man and let you guys serve the C&Ds.

I’m going to buy this and drive an hour up to my parents house and use their landline to make the long-distance phone call to Redmond Washington. They’re going to be pissed just like they were 25 years ago.

Thank god for retirement.

I don’t know how I feel about a Mass Effect game with a male protagonist.

A game starring Norman Reedus with his Norman Feetus

I was truly choked up when I discovered that I was playing a man who suffered a fatal injury while saving war orphans, and the only way to save him was to inject nanoparasites into his hand so that he could breathe. How unfortunate though that, instead of oxygen, the parasites breathe only the sweet scent of teenage…

Very obviously his caribouty.

I imagine that most players don’t care about the main character’s kid, given that A) you meet him for all of five seconds, and B) your main character has absolutely zero sense of urgency. Why search for your kid when you can just build a bunch of towers instead?

I can see my house.

Being forced to constantly play a gender you don’t want to in video games. I can’t imagine what that is like.

• MICKE desk $49.99

Are you using the same Internet that we are all using, or a different one?

And yet, how many consumers will actually care about that difference when looking at the price? Not to mention how many consumers actually have the minimum required PC. No one is disputing that the Vive and OR will run butter, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to sell better. A Ferrari is better than my Acura, but…

This is my favorite one

JD, lead designer here, you haven’t heard of this game until now because we literally just announced at 10am this morning. ;) We wanted to wait until we had enough of the game to really show you something more than a concept video.

Please tell me you at least had a smirk on your face typing out that headline?

Unrelated: How the hell do you dismantle these light fixtures to replace bulbs? I just started renting a place that’s lousy with these and filled with twice as many bulbs as I require.