Are those really the only options?

Great speech, dad.

Too bad we, as a society, are so jaded we can’t enjoy a players season in college. Who F#@%ing cares what he does in the NFL? Most Heisman winners, especially QBs, don’t do shit at the next level! But that’s cool cause they tore it up in college and earned a pretty cool ass award, even if it’s status has been…

Quit thinking logically my dude. If the browns have the #1 pick, there’s no way in hell they pass on Baker McCrotchgrab. It’s gonna be glorious.

I don’t think they take him. Johnny Flashbacks.

Cue the people who will be trying to make jokes about this awful topic...

So he literally just confirmed what everyone else thinks: that he’s making sure to craft his image and the narrative about him. He’s a fraud. He just admitted he’s fraudy. Well done, Kevin.

And when they inevitably get sick and need treatment, either:

A brief excerpt from a text exchange with a Republican friend of mine.

But think of the private jets! Won’t anyone think of the private jets?

What happened to Reggie Jackson then?

“Coming in, Kanter seemed like a good candidate for tank commander”

• Enraging a corrupt country. 

It is true that I forgot this last bullet point.

Police received a complaint Nov. 8 from a woman on Woodview Court who said she found feces and tissue outside her home

Just what we need, a rivalry between east coast and west coast crappers

- Electric Poopaloo

You could literally swim from Spain to Morrocco, according to my Morrocan friend.

i now demand that Gibraltar now take Iran’s place in the world cup... i’m sure the spanish would respond appropriately to that

My knee jerk reaction is to say the host always gets a good draw because they get put in Pot 1. But that’s a really fucking good draw.